This is the unrelated joke thread. I love these things, and so I'll start one now. If you post something and come back to the forums, it is probably in the NonFootball/Fifa related forum.

Anyways, I'll start it up.......

This woman is working at a sperm bank and is pushing a cart full of sperm samples late at night after everyone else has gone home. She is suddenly confronted by a masked man. He says, "Woman, I want you to drink that sample right there!" She protests, and then the man says, "If you don't drink that sample, I'll blow your head off!!!" So she drinks the sperm sample.

All of a sudden, the man takes his mask off, and it's her husband, and he says, "Now that wasn't so bad was it??"



How about these.....

Did you hear about the new invention of the Polish Navy. The Screendoor Submarine.

How did the blond hurt herself raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.

Why doesn't a woman need a watch? There is a clock on the stove.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap her.


WARNING: These next few jokes are racial, boardering on racist, but lighten up. They're jokes, and I'm not serious. If you are offended, just scroll down to the next reply.


What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill? Avalanche.
What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? Mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak.


What holiday don't African Americans celebrate? Father's Day.

JOKES PEOPLE!! Lighten up! I'm not serious! My buddy Joe can vouge for my non-racist nature, but I'm just bringing humor to the forum. You hear stuff like this on Def Comedy Jam all the time, and no one shut them off for racism. So just refrain from being Nazi and deleting this thread.

Funny thing, derogatory jokes about Afro-Caribbeans are not racist if told by Afro-Caribbeans!

If Jackie Mason was to do some of Richard Pryor's stuff he'd be strung up.

The best stuff of this type in the UK is done by the "Goodness Gracious Me" team. It really rips it out of the pre-conceived idea of Asians in Britain.

There's one regular sketch about a guy who's an Asian Brit, but he lives at home with his parents, who are always trying to arrange a marriage for him. One day he comes home from work and there is a heavily made-up young lady in the lounge, wearing a cropped top and mini-skirt. He goes into the kitchen where his parents tell him that they now see things his way and will stop trying to arrange a marriage, this is an arranged shag!

Alright then,

I know of milion of jokes, ranging from dirty to really dirty and extreme.

If you want a load of jokes you'll have to email me.

One day in the future, Osama bin Laden has a heart
attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where
the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Osama bin Laden thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Osama bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was to swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was to break rocks all day long." commented Osama bin Laden.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Osama bin Laden took this in disbelief and finally said,"Yeah, I can
handle this."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."