Let us now do Spectrum Analysis.

I will now give a Detailed List of Positive Energy and Negative Vibes or Energy that eminate from this game.

First the Positive:

Passing System. FIFA series has needed a New Thang for a long time concerning the passing. For accurate passing at a 100 % level was the norm in previous FIFAs. Yes pass it around in the olden days and it would go right to the player as if it was magnetized. Crosses? No problem. Lobs? No Problem. Passing in previous FIFAs? No problem. Grape juice stains....well, we'll get to George Jefferson another time (and Weezy!) Now there's more of a Challenge Element and this is a good thing. But for Scripted Ball Physics aside this indeed is a Promise; yea it has the Promise of Future Potential if EA will renew their minds as Casey Treat would say.

Lots of teams; yeah lots an lots of em, as the Rainman said to Charlie Babbett. But as the Very Last episode of Incredible Hulk was entitled, there became:

A Minor Problem.

We'll get to that in the SUCKS Section.

Jolly Good and now:

Yes that was the name of the ep, but digressing on for now.

The list of leagues w/brief analysis:

England: Premier. Very rock em sock em action; balls out.

Italy: Serie A. Balls in for this is the League of Catennacio. Their Ratings Index has been downward turning due to failed Champions League campaigns, but still, these are the Best in the World.

Germany: Bundesliga. Bayern Rules and a Cast of Thousands try and get their share. Watch for subtle sleeper teams like Freiburg or take Bayer to yet another title. Fledgling competition.

Spain: Home of Zidane, Figo, Real, Barca, and yes:

Racing Santander. I have a tape incidentally of a Deportivo=Racing game at santander where Their Fans! Yes! Their Fans went crazy and flooded the field because their team finished 15th (avoiding Relegation). Deportivo fans celebrated the Championship the next week on the same tape. Hopefully I won't record over it w/Brady Bunch or something. Nice League to go for.

France: Relative 5th of the 5 Power Leagues; lots of African Colored People here and yea the French! World Cup Winners in 98. Get to that in a minute. Nearly a Mid Major like:

Belgium: Anderlecht are the class of this mid major league.

Denmark: Semipros. Good luck.

Norway: Same thing; heck Lyngby are bankrupt in real like, but Hey! They're in the game this year. Rosenburg stands in the way. Sleeper League w/Rosey.

Sweden: Minnow status. A challenge.

MLS: I don't like how its been marketed in the past by the folk that run it. They need Relegation System and Much Improved Play. Very Challenging.

K League? Sort of like Malaysia in the past. BTW Look at the ratings. Now play K League team vs. Bayern Munich. Is there a diff'rence in play. Take your time when thinking; its a most interesting point according to Lavan Chandran that ALL THE TEAMS PLAY ALIKE

Swiss: Below Belgium in status but better than playing Grevenmacher (Luxembourg) or Omonia Nicosia (Cyprus). Replaces the DEFUNCT DUTCH LEAGUE at least in FIFA Gaming.

Scotland: All Celtic Baby!

A Partial Brazil? Yes the Brazilian Samba League. Paulista. Carioca. Rio Dul Sol. You'll be needing www.rsssf.com to help form the Total League Here. Teams like Palmeris? Missing. Do your best here.

Rest of World: Assorted flavors from Footy. Ajax, PSV, Galatasaray, what have you.

Now then for more positives:

Graphics are good but w/niggles in player models and animations compared to ISS.
Motson and Gray. THANK EA SPORTS! BUT MOST OF ALL THANK THE LORD JESUS. Sure beats Julie Foudy. Neutral (Lavan) said that their commentary was the best in any footy game (save for Champ manager text based of course IMO)

Creation Center. Righteous. I'll of course assume the integers will be enormous when it comes to Team Creation, Player Creation, League

Creation. Righteous.

Rewards: Unlocking Tourneys is cool. How about Euro 2000 Championship, CONCACAF TITLE, COPA America and etc. Beautiful.

Now for the Negatives or Bad Vibes if you prefer:

Niggly ones 1st:

Same ole same ole transfer system. Beckham to Mechelen (Belgium)? No problem if you got $. The Real thing. The Bread. Well it rhymed anyway; shoot send him to Arse Nal w/the GK of Seman..I mean Seaman; that'll show em over at EA! William Abner was right; this needs overhauling in a Career Type Fashion as does:

Stat Tracking. Goals n Cards; Dat's It!

Incorrect rosters, dated to Aug 15 according to EA. Sheringham EPL MVP has BLOND HAIR! Crap like that. No biggie. Edit. Still the Man of Barnes will say under the Anoiting Right Now:

IF YOU HAVE A LICENSE FOR FIFPRO Why do you Not use it Properly. Ooooh I'll have to be a Right Proper Charley and give a good dressing Down before I Edit.

NO DUTCH LEAGUE!!! THIS IS BORDERLINE FOR MY VERY STRONG SUCKS CATEGORY BUT IT MUST BE SAID I'LL GIVE IT A D- HERE AND LET IT BE A NIGGLY THING; AFTER ALL I CAN'T GET TOO TICKED (OR P-D OFF CAN I?). Besides Fortuna Sittard is not as exciting as...well?

Serie A

Yes Serie A.

Amen.

Scripted ball physics. Yes its scripted, but then again to some degree all games are scripted. Read Lavan Chandran Review for details; yea it should become a Bible of FIFA Footy for All Nations. However w/New Passing and New Shooting? it shan't be that Bad.

It Depends. No not the Undergarments for the Elderly but it Depends on how your perspective on Console Footy Gaming is. The ISS folk will give a Double Dingbat Daft Rating while casual FIFA fans may say:
Oh cool; like tubular to the max! No not Martin Max the former Schalke Forward now playing for 1860 Munich (Why?!? Bayern's just down the road) but the MAXIMUM.

The "preferred foot" is cosmetic according to Lavan; I'll have to see it, but this is a niggle.

But Now Comes the Biggest Part of this Review:

The SUCKS CATEGORY: WHAT SUCKS IN FIFA 2002?

NO WORLD CUP PROPER; JUST BLOODY MOTHERLOVING (OR F-ING)
QUALIFYING!!!!! How the dick can a EA Company use a World Cup License in Such a Daft Matter? A good Dick that is Detective would say "Either you have it or you don't!!!" FOR NO MAN CAN SERVE 2 MASTERS LEST ONE GETS PISSED OFF AT THE OTHER OR YOU GET TO CARING FOR NEITHER OF EM (Ronald Curry of UNC Tarheels, 2 Sport Star has this problem; B=Ball and Gridiron BOTH Suffering) FOR YE CANNOT SERVE GOD AND MAMMON! DO YOU WANT A CLUB GAME EA OR A WORLD CUP GAME?

Answer in 6 Months w/:

Congratulations you have Qualified! Please insert the 40$ World Cup Disc etc.

Amen.

7 Disses (out of 10) and be lucky it isn't more Mister!

MAJOR TEAM MANAGEMENT BUGS! DO A WING FORMATION AND DEL PIERO (ST) PLAYS LEFT BACK (DEFENSE!!!) FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

It'd be like if Michael Jordan played Center or Shaq played Guard! Ludicrous and yes the PC version can patch the mother. But pity the folk w/console versions.

5-8 Disses for PC; 10 Disses for Consoles!

Do do do do....da da da da DAAAAAAAA..da da da (BASS)
DAAAAA....DOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Yes that above piece is from "The Lonely Man" which played at the end of The Incredible Hulk Show. Written by....uh.....Marvin Hamlisch I think. I tell you Bill Bixby (or David Banner) was Cheerio in Acting.

Too right an all.

Remember I mentioned that FIFA 2002 had:

A Minor Problem?

Here it is:

THERE IS A MAJOR ROSTER PROBLEM THAT ALL NATIONS FROM LIECHENSTEIN TO DIJBOUTI TO THE US on Usenet need to be warned about RE: FIFA 2002. Take a look at Holland. What do you see? Nothing? Well #1, #2, #3, etc.

LAZY LAZY LAZY AND SLOPPY; YEA EA SPORTS MUCH LIKE CAROLINA TARHEELS DIDN'T BARN TOBACCO ON THIS ONE. At least UNC Tarheel B=Ball beat Georgia Tech to help their Respect Meter but alas w/FIFA its:
Licensing you know. And shan't nothing be done about it either unless you LOVE Editing. Computer Nerds are perfect for this (like myself) but I Say this is a Burr in the Queen's Bee! So:

7 Disses and 1 More for Tolerance which makes 8 Disses!

Cousin Oliver on Brady Bunch was a good idea compared to this. Editing saves it from a

Bad 10 Dis Rating.

Amen. Next:

5 Stadiums! Mein Gott NCAA Football 2002 has over 100! More Lazy Daisy Licensing! RTWC 98 had 16 including Indoor for PLAYSTATION! 4 Diss. Its not the end of the world, but its certainly a bugger bear that. Too right and let it be said:

I haven't even got to the gameplay yet.

All Teams from Sri Lanka #1 to the Man United Play Exactly the same. Boy those 40 yard lobs by the Computer w/PINPOINT ACCURACY 100%. Variety. That's the key. Not sameness cookie cutter play. Hopefully w/the variation of types of players and opinions there won't be too much dissing. I'll give it a 3. Personally I think the game is better than other FIFAs but not up to ISS Level according to experts.

You'll love this one.

Do you like to play w/friends in a season w/one being Man U, a 2nd being Arse--nal, a 3rd being Charlton, etc? Well well. Only 1 Player can play a Season or Tourney at a time Custom or not! Silly. 2 Disses+ Depending on Taste. I'm mostly a Single Player but alas a critical element has been contaiminated w/that virtual Plutonium called Crap Programming: Namely:

Have you noticed that EA takes out features from past games that worked in the well past? Lavan gave an excellent list of stuff from RTWC 98 FOR PLAYSTATION that is NOT in FIFA 2002!!! And the Man of Barnes read this part of the Review and it Was Good! For its the Truth. 13! Things in RTWC 98 NOT in FIFA 2002. Sad and double sad. 7 Disses For the Game is Still Popular; hence EA does what they want, much like a gangbanger.

Amen.

Anything else Jeff?

Yes. I'm renting this before I buy if at all. Might get an American Football game instead; the competition's keen this year.

In fairness though I haven't "FIFA'ed" since FIFA 2000, so if it comes to it I may buy it anyway for the gameplay. I am, after all on consoles anyway, a Casual Player; Leave the Management stuff to the Champ Mans; that sort of thing. But I'll say for sure I won't be getting this game early decision. We'll see.

Time for Three's Company.

The Man of Barnes Has Now Made 100 Posts At Soccer Gaming

Post #101 Will Be A Christmas Present:

An Analysis of the 4-3-1-2 Isoscles Triangle Formation in Championship Manager

Research the Catennacio Immediately; yea and the integers, the algorithms, the players, Fog of War, etc. in Deep Study w/this Move Set will enhance your CM. Look for it in "Champ Man Forums'; One Near You! And that's just with Glentoran.

Amen.

And Now From Early Decision through the Fortnight Comes of course:

Late Decision.

But not too late for Christmas.

Amen.

Before I start let me digress and say that:

The Xmas Abbreviation is gramatically a sticky wicket and I say Out of Order.

For our Baby Jesus is Great as He is Lord and Greatly to be Praised; therefore Christmas is the appropriate term proper.

Even worse is the "Happy Holidays" generic bit, which gets Daft during well Christmas, and represents the folk that want to make Money off the Season.

Some examples are Retail and Budweiser; besides, the fact that Budweiser is strictly a No=No amongst the Pentecostals that fulfill Word (though Apostle Paul advised Tim to drink wine to settle the gastrointestinal area that is stomach or Belly) Makes saying "Merry Christmas" a Right Sticky Wicket for Anheiser-Busch and could lead to Pick-Up by Constable for being CheeseWiz!

Amen.

Of course "Holiday" as in "We're on holiday" is most appropriate.

Right all square and now its time to ponder a:

Late Decision on FIFA 2002.

Let's begin.

We begin w/comments from Blublub which in a nutshell sum up my evidently Final Feelings about FIFA. As a pickaninny I must say that I've enjoyed most all quality footy games and here comes an interesting Point of Emphasis.

Blublub:

[Q]I think you can safely stick a fork in the future of the series, even in the US, and even among the impulse-buying Wallmart crowd - it simply is not much fun for anyone. For god's sake my five-year-old got tired of it after a few games and went back to MLS Extratime, bogus international players and all.[Q]

Did you hear this Revelation Knowledge? That was just shocking I tell you; just shocking!
Now I will say why.

I have been to the following stores to look for FIFA and the highly touted NCAA Football (Gridiron) and Madden games and it must be said it was pitiful. Here are the stores:

2 Wal Marts! Yes 2 of them!

Smithfield 1st: A halfway decent area of my metropolis w/nice bobbies patrolling the lot on occasion but alas NO PREFERRED CHOICES WERE THERE FOR THE MAN OF BARNES.

So I said:

Dern!

And after Smithfield Wal Mart I went to:

K-Mart.

Now the Rainman had a high opinion of K=Marts, given his obsession w/the Cincinnati,OHIO store; however my attitude can be deduced by these comments from Tom Cruise:

K-Mart sucks.

Amen.

BUT NOT THAT DAY! Praise K-Mart

But most of All Praise the Lord!

Madden Football Was Available on the docket, and niggly though the Service Be, it must be said that they were a Proper Charlie here.

Hurray.

Now off to Goldsboro and

Kaybee Toys

A most reliable store to be sure (but not really) for

THEY HAD NOTHING AS WELL!

Not NCAA Gridiron
Not FIFA 2002

Queer that.

So a final trip to

Goldsboro Wal Mart

Nets the OUTSTANDING NCAA GRIDIRON GAME!

Credit will be given here and how!

So here's the box score:

K-Mart=Madden (1 game of 3)
Wal Mart Smithfield (zero)
Kaybee Toys Goldsboro (zero)
Wal Mart Goldsboro NCAA Gridiron (1 of 3)

Now here is Wisdom from Above the 3rd Heaven!

NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY OF THE 4
HAD FIFA 2002!

Amen.

It means 1 of 2 things:

A: The FIFA 2002 game sold like hotcakes (although why they would sell out in a rural area is beyond me)

OR:

B: They didn't have it and

Now going back to Blublub data; He that hath an ear let him hear:

Even the Wal Mart crowd, etc think it sucks and so the Retail Firms decided not to carry it!

A sticky wicket you might say.

And there you have it. Not only does my Spectrum Analysis Reveal Some Insight but w/niggly wrinkles and Suck Points about FIFA 2002 but also it Reveals that:

It shan't be too popular w/the Man of Barnes No More because ITS NOT IN THE BLOODY STORES!!!

Too right and how!

Let's put FIFA to bed.

Amen.

:crazyboy:

How much time did U spend writing??????!!!!!!:crazyboy: :crazyboy: :crazyboy:

WOW!
It seems you have WAY too much time on your hands...

hehe

LOL..:D :crazyboy: :monkey:

Damn Jeff,
Nice post but a little bit long. Seems like to have put this through a lot of thought. How long did it take you to write all of this stuff?

Could someone sum his message? i don't want to lose my time reading all this :rolleyes:

Originally posted by ZePenguin
Could someone sum his message? i don't want to lose my time reading all this :rolleyes:

I would do it but it giving me a headache reading it. All the font are not the same size and too much religious overtone.

Yes, and u can show Arsenal some respect in ur typing. Can u? U bloody f**ker????

i gave up reading before half, it's too long :D

Impressive! I must say as though I usually lean more toward the even-keeled, albeit somewhat dry essay-like postings, this is quite the special treat. A great and creative analysis as usual, Jeff. :-)

Thanks for the time ...

- Holesinswiss