i'm not sure, or actually couldnt remember, if anyone had started a thread like this. i think the other one had to do with episodes.

anyway, what are your favorite simpsons qoutes?

go here (http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml) for some qoutes to refresh your memory.

my top 5 are:
1: Homer: :doing impersonations:
[Homer] Hello Marge
[Marge] Hi Homey!
[Homer] Sign this please!
[Marge] You're the boss!
[Child] Daddy! Ask the man for some candy!
[Homer] No no, no candy for you!
[Child] Well at least get some candy for yourself!
[Homer] Hehehe... kids.
Guy: Here's your candy!
Homer: So long, sucker!
Guy: Uuh, sir, your life savings?
Homer: Uuh, yes. I see that it's in bill form. Excellent

2. Homer: Dog for sale! Dog for sale!
Dr. Hibbert: How much for the dog?
Homer: Oh, he's not for sale.

3. Homer: Kids... how would you... like to go to... Blocko Land!?
Lisa/Bart: Meh
Homer: But... the TV gave me the impression tha..
Bart: We said "meh"
Lisa: M-e-h. Meh.

4. Sheriff: Afternoon, folks. Got a new assignment for you. The judge is having a little soirée and he needs some help. [Homer gets whipped]
Boss: No listening. You hear me?
Homer: Uh.... no?
Boss: You just don't learn, do you? [whips Homer]

5. Ned: aaaaaaaaah! Purple drapes, all my life I've wanted purple drapes! aaaaaaaaah!

My favorite:

"D'oh!" (H)

You stole my thread from 5 months ago :kader:

but im not mad

my favourite lines all come from one character:

Homer: "Son, when you participate in sporting events.... it's not whether you win or lose...... it's how drunk you get."

Homer: "Bart go run 20 laps"
Marge: "Don't you remember how bad your father was when competing in sports"

:Homer has a flashback of his dad ruining his gymnastic tournament:

Homer: "Marge, you're right, I am going to be kinder to Bart and meaner to my Dad".

:Goes outside to hug Bart, while Bart runs away:










:p

When Homer and Marge get the Tennis Court put In, they invite the newsreader round Kent (Whats his Name?) to play tennis

Homer: Kent, How do you come up with those brilliant one liners

Cuts back to people sitting in van thinking up a quick one liner

Man In Van: I guess you could say its my racket.......
Kent: I guess you could say im Iraqi.........
Homer: Get Off My Property!

:rockman:

duffman, did you steal my idea to use a character who has made a cameo appereance in the episode titled "hungry hungry homer"?

anyhoo, here are some of my favourites:

Ralph: Aw Daddy! This tastes like Grandma!
Chief Wiggum: Holy moses, this does taste like Grandma!

Homer: I won't let you give up now, when you worked so hard to [suddenly drunk] be the greatest pal in the world. I love you. Let's not lose touch after graduation.

Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a Liar, a Pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

Bill Clinton: Thank you, Lisa, for teaching kids everywhere a valuable lesson: If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.

Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now... chew through my ball sack!

there are many more, but i chose those five, b/c they made me laugh my arse off!

Homer: Pfft English... Who needs English? I'm never going to England!

Originally posted by Avalanche1996
duffman, did you steal my idea to use a character who has made a cameo appereance in the episode titled "hungry hungry homer"?

what are you talking about man?

"Mmmmm.... Unprocessed fish sticks!" - homer staring at 3d gold fish


Man, gotta love The Simpsons I have soo much in my kazaa

Originally posted by #1 Stunna
what are you talking about man?

this is what i am talking about:

in the episode titled "hungry hungry homer," duffman made an appearance, and so did paint drinking pete (he only appeared in one scene, when homer was removed from beyond the center field fence at the baseball stadium). i came up with the paint drinking pete visible name ages ago, long before you decided to use duffman (well only a few months, but who cares? its just a forum).

i hope that answered your question.

PS: no, the real-life me does NOT drink paint. if i did, id be dead now.

Originally posted by Avalanche1996
Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now... chew through my ball sack!

LMFAO!!! I love that one. I have a lot to name, but I can't even remember any right now... Wait, I got one!

From the episode where Homer's a missionary in Micronesia:

Guy: *drunk* How can ace be one and eleven, HUH?! What kind of god would allow that? *swings punch and passes out*

what episodes are theses quetes from:
1: Homer: :doing impersonations:
[Homer] Hello Marge
[Marge] Hi Homey!
[Homer] Sign this please!
[Marge] You're the boss!
[Child] Daddy! Ask the man for some candy!
[Homer] No no, no candy for you!
[Child] Well at least get some candy for yourself!
[Homer] Hehehe... kids.
Guy: Here's your candy!
Homer: So long, sucker!
Guy: Uuh, sir, your life savings?
Homer: Uuh, yes. I see that it's in bill form. Excellent

Ralph: Aw Daddy! This tastes like Grandma!
Chief Wiggum: Holy moses, this does taste like Grandma!

Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a Liar, a Pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

?

1. The one where Homer puts his life savings on Animotion (in the stock market) then loses all his money. He then becomes a guinea pig for scientists so they can test a bunch of crap on him... They then find out he has a crayon in his brain, etc.

2. When Homer goes to live in his old house with the farm and he grows Tomacco (glove slap)

3. Hmmm... The one with the trillion dollar bill, me thinks

i will not sell baloons as condoms in school

bart wrote it on the board

Originally posted by Avalanche1996
in the episode titled "hungry hungry homer," duffman made an appearance, and so did paint drinking pete (he only appeared in one scene, when homer was removed from beyond the center field fence at the baseball stadium). i came up with the paint drinking pete visible name ages ago, long before you decided to use duffman (well only a few months, but who cares? its just a forum).

so cuz u put Paint Drinking Pete I st[ole your] idea? Duffman comes out in more than one episode, not just "Hungry Hungry Homer".

but whatever, neither character really has to do anything with each other.

i know that duffman has appeared in multiple episodes, including the episode when barney quit drinking (days of wine and d'ohses), and when moe had plastic surgery (pygmoelian).

as for you stealing my idea, i was only kidding around. as comic book guy has said in the past:

Originally said by Comic Book Guy
I see that we are not familiar with sarcasm.

Too many to post, it's a classic!

Duffman was like in 6 episodes

And I thought there was only one pete

Dancing Pete (the midget version of Krusty).

heres Cletus again:

homer's rock bottom interview :rockman:

lmao, that ruled.

I liked the one where he becomes the boxer. (H)

homer: youre as cute as a bug's ear
hah i was just watching the one about lisa and the beauty queen

lisa: fathers have to say that stuff
(granpa walsk in)
homer: dad, am i cute as a bug's ear?
grandpa: No! youre as homely as a mule's butt!
homer: (to lisa) there see?

Chief Wiggum: Move along folks nothing to see here, nothing to see...OH MY GOD! A HORRIBLE PLANE WRECK. Look at al this falming wreckage, gather round, gather round, dont be shy, gather round

i just remembered this quote, i couldnt stop laughing:

(Homer talking to Bart, as Bart is about to go to school for the first time)

[Homer] I'm going to give you the same advice my father gave me.

(He thinks back to what his dad said)

[Grandpa] Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly, if a stranger offers you a ride, i say take it.

:rockman: :rockman: :rockman: :rockman:

Originally posted by yoyo_911
what episodes are theses quetes from:
1: Homer: :doing impersonations:
[Homer] Hello Marge
[Marge] Hi Homey!
[Homer] Sign this please!
[Marge] You're the boss!
[Child] Daddy! Ask the man for some candy!
[Homer] No no, no candy for you!
[Child] Well at least get some candy for yourself!
[Homer] Hehehe... kids.
Guy: Here's your candy!
Homer: So long, sucker!
Guy: Uuh, sir, your life savings?
Homer: Uuh, yes. I see that it's in bill form. Excellent

Ralph: Aw Daddy! This tastes like Grandma!
Chief Wiggum: Holy moses, this does taste like Grandma!

Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a Liar, a Pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

?


can I have a direct link to these

Originally posted by yoyo_911
can I have a direct link to these

Here are the episodes you wanted links for.

1.HOMR (http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season12/homr.shtml)

2.E-I-E-I-D'oh! (http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season11/eieidoh.shtml)

3. I wasnt able to find it, but you can go here (http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml) and look for it yourself.

My fav would be the one where Homer confuses God with superman or something like that.

"Right that's the last time ye slap yer willy about" Groundskeeper Willie to Principal Skinner

"Jebus!"
- Homer

And Hearts_FC...Willie just said that like 3 minutes ago.

Originally posted by fender
My fav would be the one where Homer confuses God with superman or something like that.

"I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!" (H)

Originally posted by rony31
3. Hmmm... The one with the trillion dollar bill, me thinks

BTW guys, here's the answer to your question about the 3rd episode. The Trouble With Trillions (http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season9/trillion.shtml)

Scientist: Mr. Simpson, this could be responsible for your subnormal intelligence.
Homer: Hey, I came here to be drugged, electricuted and probed, not insulted.

Scientist: We could remove the crayon for you! It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you.
Homer: Hmm... increase my killing power eh?

Homer: "Hello, my name is Mister Burns, I believe you have a letter for me"

Post Office Guy: "Okay sir, first name please?"

Homer: "I don't know"


I like the StoneCutters song:

"Who controls the British Pound?"
"Who keeps the metric system down?"
"We do, We do"

"Who keeps Atlantis off the map?"
"Who keeps the Martians under wraps?""
"We do, we do"

"Who hold back the electric car?"
"Who makes Steve Newtonberg a star?"
"We do, we do"

"Who robs kingfish of their sight?"
"Who rigs every oscar night?"
"We do.............. WE DOOOOOOOOOOOO"



(H)

Homer in the witness protection program

Agent: Mr. Simpson when I wave and say: hello Mr. Thompson you will say hello, ok?

Homer: Ok Got it

Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson

Homer: *looks around the room*

Agent *clears throat* Ok..........umm Mr. Simpson, when I say hello Mr. Thompson and wave you will say hello. is that clear?

Homer: Yes!

Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson

Homer: *Homer picks his nose and looks on*


Two hours later


Agent: MR. SIMPSON!! WHEN I SCRACHT MY FOREHEAD, TOUCH MY NOSE, AND STEP ON YOUR FOOT AND SAY HELLO MR. THOMPSON YOU WILL SAY HELLO!!!!!! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD??!?!

Homer: Yes sir!

Agent: *Does the steps and then yells at the top of his lungs* HELLO MR. THOMPSON!!!!!


Homer: Uuuuh.......is he talking to me..




Homer at the zoo after Bart turns in his elefant
Bart: Why is Stumpy beating up on those other elephants?

Zoo Guy: Well you see son, some elefants like People are just jerks.......... Stop that Mr. Simpson!.........LOL

Both from Marge vs the Monorail I think:

Intro - to the theme from the Flintstones, Homer sings:
Simpson! Homer Simpson!
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the! Town of Springfield!
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!
Crash!


knock at the door
Marge : There's a man here who says he can help you.
Homer : Is it Batman?
Marge : He's a scientist.
Homer : Batman's a scientist.
Marge : It's not Batman!

"i just got promoted and its all due to yes i cannibis! we have a kitchen?!?"

one of my favs:

"hey kids meet grandpa murphy"
"aww but we have 3 grandpas already"
"but this one is a great jazz musician"
"aww they all are!"
"aw aw you see? the kids these days they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. with their hippin and their hoppin and their bippin and their boppin, so they dont know what the jazz is all about, u see? jazz is like yellow puddin pop, no wait it is more like kodak film. no jazz is like the new coke, itll be around for ever, heh heh heh"

"kids, you tried, and you failed miserably. the lesson here is...never try"

"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."

"To alcohol! The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems"

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

"Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them."

"hey marge, i just found out how i can triple my productivity!"

Mindy(Homer's crush, inside an elevator): "Well, it looks like we'll be getting off together, uh, I mean, going down together,uh, I mean- "
Homer: "That's okay, I'll just press the button for the stimulator - I mean elevator!"

Lionel Hutz: I kinda ran over his dog, but replace the word *kinda* with *repeatly* and the word *dog* with the word *son*.

"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."

just a few...lol

for some quotes, simply search yahoo for simpsons quotes

Originally posted by rony31
"I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!" (H)

:D

Homer as a child: Zookeeper! Zookeeper! Those 2 monkeys are killing each other!
Zookeeper: They're havin' sex
Homer: Oh...

Homer Simpson Sound Board... Lots of Good ones:

Homer Soundboard (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/homer.html)

that episode when grampa said that his son (homer) was not a communist, was actually "simpson tide". that episode was the one when homer joined the naval reserve.

just came across this juicy quote (from the episode when they hired shary bobbins--a mary poppins knock-off):

Lisa: Do you think we'll ever see her again?
Homer: I'm sure we will, honey. [Shary is sucked into a passing plane's jet engine] I'm sure we will.