View Full Version : Romeo and Juliet essay help!


Help?
21-03-2004, 12:46:PM
Ok, i had my essay all edited and i only had to type it up, but today i found out that i lost it. So i had to re-write it. However i have to hand it in on Monday, so i really need help. My parents are too busy to edit it like always:rolleyes: , so if anyone is bored, then could you please help and look through and my essay and maybe just correct a couple of things. Help will be very very very much thanked! You will help me sooooooo much. Here is my essay and please don't laugh, this is the first one i wrote for english class in my whole life. I am not asking for any big changes, just grammar and sentence structure. Thanks.

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Love is a very strong thing and nothing can stop it. Love can lead people to unthinkable

outcomes, but there is nothing that can brake it. Not even a very big conflict between the families of

a couple, like in Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. The story takes place in Italian city of

Verona, where Romeo of Montagues and Juliet of Capulets fall in love with each other. The

problem is that two families are in a conflict for a long time. It prevents Romeo and Juliet normally

being together. They have to hide their love in secret or face dishonor. Something bad has to happen

to them, which both families would regret. Romeo and Juliet’s love was doomed.

The conflict between the two families prevents Romeo and Juliet from freely being together,

making their love doomed. Juliet thought that either Romeo or she would have to refuse the families

name to be able to love each other freely. After the Capulet’s feast, Juliet talks to herself:


O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father, and refuse thy name;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet. (II, ii, 33-36)


Juliet says those lines, because she understands that neither Montagues, nor Capulets will be happy

with their love. Romeo and Juliet will have to hide their love or one will have to refuse the name of

a family. Tybalt calls Romeo a villain, because of his family name, even though Romeo has never

done anything bad to Capulets. When Tybalt sees Romeo on a street, the day after the feast and

says, “ ‘Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford no better term than this – thou art a villain.’ ” (III, i,

59-60) Tybalt hates Montagues including those that done nothing to Capulets. Romeo was never in a

fight between the two families, but Tybalt still hates him for being a Montague. Nothing will change

Capulets opinion of Montagues, not even love of their children. The conflict is so big, that Romeo

and Juliet have to be together in secrecy, making their love doomed.

Whenever Romeo sees Juliet, he forgets all his troubles. Romeo was always hiding from

one’s eye, he always wanted to be alone. There was nothing in the world that would make him

happy or make him forget everything, until he met Juliet. She was like a light for him, breaking

through the gloom darkness. When Romeo saw Juliet after the feast he said, “ ‘It is the east and

Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon.’ ” (II, i, 3-4) Everything surrounding

Romeo is like an envious moon, it is all troubles around him. While Juliet is like a fair sun, it’s a

light that brakes through that darkness and makes Romeo happy. Without Juliet, he would have only

troubles around him and no happiness. Romeo loves her so much, that nothing else will make all the

troubles go away. Romeo does not care about anything else; all he needs is his happiness – Juliet.

When Friar Lawrence told Romeo that his punishment for killing Tybalt was banishment form

Verona, Romeo called it a torture. He said:


Tis, torture, and not mercy. Heaven is here,
Where Juliet lives; and every cat and dog
And little mouse, every unworthy thing,
Live here in heaven and may look on her. (III, iii, 29-32)


Romeo cannot live without Juliet, because being with her is like heaven, while being without her is

like torture. He loves Juliet so much that heaven for Romeo is a place where she lives. Being

banished from Verona, means being without Juliet, which is torture to him. She is like a light,

around Romeo’s darkness and without that light he will die. Whenever Romeo sees Juliet, she

makes him forget all the troubles that Romeo faces.

Romeo and Juliet cannot live one without the other and if they will not be able to be together

something tragic will happen. Juliet was giving Romeo the only happiness in his life and when

Balthasar told him that Juliet died, Romeo made up his mind without any hesitation:


Well Juliet, I will lie with thee tonight.
Let’s see for means. O mischief, thou art swift
To enter in the thoughts of desperate men. (V, i, 34-36)


He did not even think about finding another love or thinking how his family would react to this.

Romeo decided to commit suicide and join Juliet in heaven straight away. That was his only choice,

because Romeo could not live without her. There would be no reason for him to live, when his love

Juliet was not near him. Juliet would not be able to live without Romeo as well. When she wakes up

after a 2 day sleep, Juliet sees Romeo lying dead on the floor and she immediately decides to do the

same, “ ‘Yea, noise? Then I’ll be brief. O happy dagger!’ picks up a dagger ‘This is thy sheath;’

stabs herself ‘there rust, and let me die’ Juliet dies.” (V, iii, 168-169) Juliet understands that there is

no need for her to live, because the only person she loves is dead. So to be with Romeo, Juliet

decides to kill herself and unite again with him in heavens. Capulet could find someone else for

Juliet to marry, but her only love was with Romeo, and without him she would die of grief. Juliet

decides to save herself from torture and be again with Romeo. The couple cannot live one without

the other if they will not be able to be together something tragic will happen.

Romeo and Juliet loved each other so much, that they had to be with each other to be happy.

If they got separated, it would be like hell for them. The conflict between the Montagues and

Capulets prevented Romeo and Juliet from being normally together. It was taking away the

happiness from them. Romeo and Juliet’s love was doomed. If something happened to one of them,

the other would have to suffer as well. If one of them died, the other would also die. Romeo and

Juliet loved each other so much, that all they could think of is being together. But a very big conflict

stood in their way, which could not be stopped even by their love.
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Moron
21-03-2004, 12:51:PM
hmmmm... you'll get a C+ (H)(Y)

rony31
21-03-2004, 01:12:PM
agreed... what grade are you in? wording isn't that great to be honest. use a thesaurus and try to find more sophisticated words

Rob
21-03-2004, 01:31:PM
Just in the opening introduction you have about 5 sentances that are about 6words.

italianstyle87
21-03-2004, 04:38:PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
join ur sentences with commas man, and keep one idea per paragraph
if its ur first essay its not too bad an effort, but dun get ur hopes up for an A+

leungtl
21-03-2004, 08:17:PM
I read the opening paragraph, then skipped ahead to the end.

Depends how old you are. Your sentences are too stop-start and don't have a flow, if you know what I mean.
Good luck with it though (Y)

Rochester Rhino
21-03-2004, 10:10:PM
Is English your first language?

Help?
21-03-2004, 10:52:PM
No it's my second language and i am in Grade 10. Thanks for the advice about sentences btw.

Gerrard 17
21-03-2004, 10:53:PM
Yeah, that's pretty bad for a 15-16 year old. How could you not have written an essay in your entire life? Have you been in ESL up to this point :$

hunttherock
22-03-2004, 12:12:AM
Yeah man, like you've put in some characters without introducing them for eg. Tybalt drops into the essay at some paragraph without introduction and for that you'd lose valuable marks.

Plus try to be more fluent, this essay may be worth a C+ or B- at the most :)

Help?
22-03-2004, 09:39:AM
Originally posted by MastaLFC
Yeah, that's pretty bad for a 15-16 year old. How could you not have written an essay in your entire life? Have you been in ESL up to this point :$

Hey, this is Canada we are talking about. I was in academic, previous year and the very first time we wrote and actual essay was for history, at the start of the year, but history and english are two different types of essays. So this is the very first essay people have to write for english. We learned point, prove, comment thing in Grade 9 and now are starting to write a real essay.


About ideas, i have 2 ideas per body paragraph, but i can't make 1 paragraph into 2, because our teacher said that. And thanks about Tybalt, i will make an intro about him, like "Tybalt, cousin of Juliet".

So, thanks guys for help, that should get me at least some extra marks, i never expect to get over 85% anyways. 75%+ would be amazing for me. So thanks, i will edit it know and hand-in tomorrow.

nickclubman
22-03-2004, 05:38:PM
Juliet 'pretends' to kill herself, Romeo finds her and thinks she's dead, he kills himself, Juliet wakes up, see's romeo and kills herself.

I'll get an A lmao!!

NK.

Help?
10-04-2004, 07:10:AM
Yay! Thanks guys;) . I followed your advices to edit a bit and got 80%(H) :D (40/50)

Moron
10-04-2004, 07:15:AM
Originally posted by Help?
Yay! Thanks guys;) . I followed your advices to edit a bit and got 80%(H) :D (40/50)


I'm so proud of u :rockman:

Help?
10-04-2004, 07:17:AM
Originally posted by Moron
I'm so proud of u :rockman:
That's good to hear moron;) .

however you gave me only C+, you should really change the standard of your marking a bit.

hanek45
10-04-2004, 07:18:AM
dude, i aint reading all that....
:kader: if u want some nice tips go to pinkmonkey.com, its not an organized site (its hard to find the stuff ur looking for) but its worth the time looking
:p

Moron
10-04-2004, 07:19:AM
Originally posted by Help?
That's good to hear moron;) .

however you gave me only C+, you should really change the standard of your marking a bit.

well, your teacher was too nice ;)

Help?
10-04-2004, 08:12:AM
Originally posted by hanek45
dude, i aint reading all that....
:kader: if u want some nice tips go to pinkmonkey.com, its not an organized site (its hard to find the stuff ur looking for) but its worth the time looking
:p
lol, you don't have to. I have already edited it, handed it in and got a mark for it.



And to Moron:
Nah, i told you the standard in Canada is low, so...

italianstyle87
10-04-2004, 08:53:AM
maybe ur teacher should change his/her standard

chatterbox
10-04-2004, 08:59:AM
The only reason you are finding the standard in Canada low is probably cause you don ' t do squat and then somehow wind up with a C or a B which is way to good for you. Trust me man, Canada, US , MARS, it don' t matter....life catches up...soon VERY soon you will find the standard beginning to rise above you and you may not be able to catch up with it. BE CAREFUL....BE VERY CAREFUL !:(

Help?
10-04-2004, 08:59:AM
Like i said, the standard in Canadian high schools is lower, but even if it's a teachers fault, i ain't complaining. better for me. Don't forget this is our first year writing essay's, not 2nd or 3rd.

Moron
10-04-2004, 01:10:PM
Originally posted by Help?
Like i said, the standard in Canadian high schools is lower, but even if it's a teachers fault, i ain't complaining. better for me. Don't forget this is our first year writing essay's, not 2nd or 3rd.


Well, if you blame the teachers that won't do anything, but just hinder your writing skills.


So better to practice more, for personal benefit and not just do what your teachers tell you to do. ;)

Jacky
10-04-2004, 09:02:PM
Originally posted by Help?
Like i said, the standard in Canadian high schools is lower, but even if it's a teachers fault, i ain't complaining. better for me. Don't forget this is our first year writing essay's, not 2nd or 3rd.



Maybe it's just your HS that has some nice teachers that gives pretty good marks for low standard stuff...

I think on average the standard between american and Canadian HS are not that big of difference... it's just the universities that are different... but then again...it's probably coz the US has got more big companies that donates money to their Uni's and make them bigger and famous...... and a lot more Canadians go to American colleges than Americans to Canadian ones....


btw.. you said your essay got 80% ... up from a C+ that moron or even I would've given you..... it's probably coz u've made some changes to it after u see our comments here.... but anyway.. good for you...

chatterbox
10-04-2004, 09:14:PM
Agree with Jacky....also...also.....here' s one thing that Canada does not have'''''''COLORADO UNIVERSITY'''''. While Canadian Universities are smaller, they are generally better than most US Universities outside of the IVY League and maybe the occasional big state University such as Michigan, Texas, Stanford, UCLA, etc. I believe University of Toronto is rated as one of the best in the World ahead of most US universities. The education / grading system is not a problem in Canada...it is people who try to escape with doing nothing and get a C+ in the process who are the problem and that can be said of just about any country not just Canada.
:kader:

Help?
10-04-2004, 09:24:PM
Hey, hey people most of you didn't even read the essay and made the judgements by moron's judgement. IN the post where i said i got 80%, i also said that i made ALL the editing that i was advised to do by people in here. So that should put me a couple of marks up and please talking of universities already, DON'T forget i am in Grade 10 and this was my FIRST EVER Essay for English and my 3 essay overall (2 for history) in my first year of studying it. So you can't really make judgements about my essays after only the very first one, because in history the essay's are different. Of coarse i will improve, i mean how did you do on your first essay?