Sir Sir_Didier_Drogba;3276376 said:
I insist you tell us absolutely everything that has happened to you in the last three years in extensive and explicit detail.
And also, you know which onomatopoeic word used for the expression of laughter I really want to hear
the tranny laugh? hurhurhurhur. I still do that in real life, especially in the company of benders and other gender challenged folk who I've had the pleasure of partying with at gay pride week gatherings.
The last three yrs have been very tumultuous and heart-attack inducingly frantic, but also extremely rewarding personally, and, to a degree, financially as well. For the first 23-24yrs of my life, I went almost entirely unscathed when it came to any kind of tragedy. I led a sheltered and spoiled existence, and then about two yrs ago, I had two of my favourite uncles die in succession. One was pulverized by a speeding drunkard and the other succumbed to an unforeseen brain aneurysm. Both in their early 40s and genuinely good human beings. Then after many years of being a manic depressive, one of my closest cousins jumped off the 18th floor of her apartment complex. I loved her unconditionally and always looked up to her even though we were the same age. She was pretty, awe-inspiringly intelligent and a magnetic force personality wise when she was up to it, but when she got into that intensely dark and atrociously bleak place, there was no way of reaching her. The toll those tragedies took on my mother....probably caused her to age a decade in the span of a year and half. She's just not the same effervescent, optimistic person anymore. And that ruined me emotionally for quite a while....just seeing her whither away both physically and emotionally......
Aside from those string of devastating occurrences, I've matured a sh!t ton and have been humbled considerably by moments of undeniable HELL and the sort of failures that you don't even see coming, you know? With the assistance of mushrooms and the sacred plant, I'm no longer the overly tense, testosterone soaked c/unt that I used to be. I'm working more diligently towards being a loving, considerate and appreciative person. I'm working towards being more introspective and strengthening my will and ability to focus. And in order to accomplish this, I've had to step outside of my comfortable social circle and patterns of behaviour. It's so easy and soothing to live a comfortable lie day in and day out, isn't it? In order to break from this hindering and constraining way of life, I've been blessed to be able to travel extensively over the last three yrs. From Alaska to Algeria, I've had the most intensely passionate, fulfilling experiences and impactful moments of my 27yr career on this planet. I'm not that much wiser or more insightful. in fact, I've never felt dumber. I'm just thankful that I'm less hyper competitive, less muddled and filled with confusion and destructive nonsense....there aren't many things worse than when you come to the irrefutable conclusion that you've been actively and aggressively conspiring against yourself and have been shackled to your fears and nagging doubts.
As it stands, I've got a decent job as a research coordinator for a marketing firm. I've been sharing a condo with one of my best friends from high school for the past couple of yrs and I've managed to live considerably below my means and save up. I took a girl that I'd been seeing on a semi-serious basis to my brother's wedding (major blunder) last month....as a gesture of my fondness for her I suppose. And it really backfired on me in such a hideous manner that I guess I was just too stoned to even fathom. She got really emotional during the course of the wedding and I just interpreted that as normal chick/human reaction to such unabashed display of affection. But she became very melancholic and somewhat erratic when we got back home. I simply asked why she was overcome by all this gloom and distress and she point blank asked me why that couldn't be us? She said that she was tired of being in vague and undefined relationships and wanted to settle down for real (she recently turned 29) She claimed that all I was doing was eating into her future with no discernable goal or objective for "our" future. I was staggered by her legit complaints and just froze. I didn't have a witty or somewhat funny response to lighten the mood. I couldn't manufacture a single utterance to reassure and comfort her...I just choked in the moment and ended up coming off as an indifferent and unconcerned c/unt. Needless to say, she has barely spoken to me in the last month or so. I love her, or so I think. But a mortgage and children? I probably just lost out on the love of my life simply because I'm an infantile, selfish coward....
I apologize if that was too long and boring, brothers. I realize that to some of you, that it probably comes off as being a stoner's woe-is-me meanderings and half-baked self-explorations but that's just where I'm at right now in life.
I could've better encapsulated the last three yrs of my life with this glib remark...."lost some, ate some, smoked some, drank some, f/ucked some and got f/ucked by some"
To reiterate my sentiments from the previous post. I sincerely hope that you'r all doing well.....I really miss the lot of youse. This place feels a lot like home. I just get this incredibly good and comfortable feeling everytime that I log back on,
)