The Dating/Courtship Thread

[ShiftyPowers]

Oh and every man, alpha or beta, falls in love. That happens to everybody.

Big difference between being "in love" with a platonic friend, and actually being in love. What I meant was that actually dating someone and building a connection will always wipe away feelings of "oh I love her so much" about another girl that you never had anything with. You might still think she's hot or whatever, but you won't have that creepy attachment.

 

[Alex]

Zlatan, I think the issue here is your definition of beta. Shifty is speaking of it in the pick up sense.

Essentially, a beta action is any action which diminishes your value. It's not about being the loudest in the room. It's not about being the quietest. And it's not necessarily about not doing either of those. Being alpha is making a girl wonder, making a girl ask who you are.

On the issue of falling in love, I've had oneitis a few times before. Guess what, I didn't end up with any of those girls.

Oneitis isn't about falling in love, it's creating an obsession and not stopping until you reach the end goal - which generally is never. Once you have oneitis you're weak, and I'd suggest 90% of guys with it, never end up with the girl.

 

[Mandieta6]

I've had oneitis a bunch of times, only worked out once, and it wasn't really oneitis since I went for her pretty quickly. More so falling in love than oneitis. Oneitis is the bane of man's existsence, if you have it, ask Shifty for help, he generally gets it right on these issues. The main thing is independance and confidence.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Zlatan, I think the issue here is your definition of beta. Shifty is speaking of it in the pick up sense.

Essentially, a beta action is any action which diminishes your value. It's not about being the loudest in the room. It's not about being the quietest. And it's not necessarily about not doing either of those. Being alpha is making a girl wonder, making a girl ask who you are.

On the issue of falling in love, I've had oneitis a few times before. Guess what, I didn't end up with any of those girls.

Oneitis isn't about falling in love, it's creating an obsession and not stopping until you reach the end goal - which generally is never. Once you have oneitis you're weak, and I'd suggest 90% of guys with it, never end up with the girl.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than 90%. Of all instances in the world? One in a thousand, if that.

 

[Alex]

Yeah, I just erred as I didn't want to be seen as exaggerating the figure.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I'm arrogant; if I see a 10% success rate, I assume I'm the 10%. 99%+ and I stop thinking that.

 

[Alex]

I originally wrote 99% too

I'm like Az too. The girl I ended up with wasn't really a oneitis case. It happened very quickly.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I've actually talked about this kind of recently. It seems to me that if you meet someone and don't pursue them immediately, it will die out and you lose the momentum. I think the momentum is what really helps carry early relationships, because after the first date and after the next couple you're really thinking "do I really like them?" and at that point it is very easy to just let it fizzle out even if you did like them. How easy is it to forget to text someone back? How easy is it to think "oh, they didn't text me back, I guess they aren't interested" early on? But if you act fast I think the momentum can power you through. The only two real relationships I've been in were both exceptionally fast developing.

If you meet someone that you really have a connection with, but immediately go on vacation for a few weeks, you should probably text and/or call them semi-regularly to try and keep some of the momentum going. This is more for relationships though; momentum is also crucial for simply bedding a girl, but not so much that you should be bugging the crap out of a stranger you just met.

 

[Zlatan]

Zlatan, I think the issue here is your definition of beta. Shifty is speaking of it in the pick up sense.

Essentially, a beta action is any action which diminishes your value. It's not about being the loudest in the room. It's not about being the quietest. And it's not necessarily about not doing either of those. Being alpha is making a girl wonder, making a girl ask who you are.

That happens to me a ton of times, so I guess I'm 'alpha' than after all (although I wouldn't consider myself that). Guess we just had the definitions mixed up than. Above all self-confidence and independency are the most important to having success with girls, but I think we all agree on that.

On the issue of falling in love, I've had oneitis a few times before. Guess what, I didn't end up with any of those girls.

Oneitis isn't about falling in love, it's creating an obsession and not stopping until you reach the end goal - which generally is never. Once you have oneitis you're weak, and I'd suggest 90% of guys with it, never end up with the girl.

Like I said, I had one-itis for about 1,5 years and got over it about a year ago (through large means indeed because I started dating this other girl). And it was the best thing that ever happened to me 'cause the freedom and self-confidence I experienced because of it has done me a lot of good, including getting girls and all of that.

Love and obsession can be quite similar or at least seem to go hand in hand often. But falling in love like that, creating an obsession like that, just happens. It's not something you choose to feel, you just feel it. Telling somebody you shouldn't feel what you feel is like the worst piece of psychological advice you can give somebody. I know that much. That was just what I meant when I posted on it earlier.

 

[Alex]

That happens to me a ton of times, so I guess I'm 'alpha' than after all (although I wouldn't consider myself that). Guess we just had the definitions mixed up than. Above all self-confidence and independency are the most important to having success with girls, but I think we all agree on that.

Yeah, rereading what I wrote (on the way to work this morning) though, JUST getting noticed isn't necessarily Alpha. Obviously you can be noticed for the wrong reasons.

 

[Sir Calumn]

I was pretty heavily in love for a long time but it didnt stop me screwing anything I could get whilst we werent together.

 

[Mus]

I think "macho" is getting lost in translation to me, or several of you. The mysterious Beta doesn't get any pussy ever because he doesn't put himself out there. Girls don't approach guys, so being reserved and meek is not attractive. Mysterious is only a good quality if you drop hints that you are interesting, not if your entire personality screams "loner who posts on Soccergaming"; this is done mostly through body language and non neediness, but also letting it slip about cool things you have done, including other girls. But that's not beta.

They do here but 70% of those who do already have something

 

[Alex]

They don't much here. I'd actually suggest American girls approach guys more than Australian girls. Not many hot girls approach guys - it's definitely the minority. Of course there are exceptions to every rule.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Maybe Mus is just a sexy bastard.

 

[Mandieta6]

Pic evidence now!!!

 

[yoyo913]

I heard he does webcam shows for women.

 

[Juventino]

Thought I'd dig up this thread because I witnessed something odd today: girl cancelled our Valentine's Day date because Ajax is playing in the Europa League (Europa League!!!). I knew she's a big fan of them (and she's really girly and cute aswell, it's a funny sight), but damn. We're going out the day after, but I told her next time we arrange something we should compare Ajax and Juventus schedules first. I also (jokingly?) reminded her I didn't watch Juventus - Fiorentina last weekend because of her birthday party, haha. F*ck it, this girl ACTUALLY cancelled on me for a football game.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

You shouldn't have told her you skipped the Juve game for her birthday.

 

[Juventino]

Yeah, that was an impulsive mistake in the moment. I responded immediately by saying ''Yeah, all right, friday is fine'', then added the ''PS. I skipped Juve'' jokingly. She was laughing, but yeah, it was awkward and it came off like I wanted to make her feel guilty ''jokingly''.

 

[Zlatan]

Go with her to an Ajax game. Most romantic date ever.