CVS Stilton
Youth Team
It's good that Konami have introduced these optional elements into the game and maybe next year we'll experience the odd untimely handball from our otherwise stalwart defenders - but I wonder what might be on the cards for PES 2020?
Will the commentary by Lawrenson (kept alive in semi-cryogenic stupor by fluids drained from Jimmy Hill's beard) proclaim, "surely, he didn't say that" whenever players blaspheme at the ref during cut scenes?
Will the policemen's helmets thud realistically against the exposed groins of streakers after a World Cup winning goal by the love child of Victoria Beckham and Franz Beckenbauer's sex-changed grand daughter?
Will there be a minute's silence before every England game during which an inebriated Gazza is wheeled in front of the penalty spot to light his pet poodle's farts with a Kiss Me Quick blowtorch?
Will the list of stadiums include a new new Wembley featuring an all-weather rooof styled on Bobby Charlton's combover?
Will prima donna superstars be booked for holding up a corner to take a call from their agent? Or to strip for a photo shoot?
Whatever happens - the gameplay for FIFA will still be pants.
Will the commentary by Lawrenson (kept alive in semi-cryogenic stupor by fluids drained from Jimmy Hill's beard) proclaim, "surely, he didn't say that" whenever players blaspheme at the ref during cut scenes?
Will the policemen's helmets thud realistically against the exposed groins of streakers after a World Cup winning goal by the love child of Victoria Beckham and Franz Beckenbauer's sex-changed grand daughter?
Will there be a minute's silence before every England game during which an inebriated Gazza is wheeled in front of the penalty spot to light his pet poodle's farts with a Kiss Me Quick blowtorch?
Will the list of stadiums include a new new Wembley featuring an all-weather rooof styled on Bobby Charlton's combover?
Will prima donna superstars be booked for holding up a corner to take a call from their agent? Or to strip for a photo shoot?
Whatever happens - the gameplay for FIFA will still be pants.