How to make more friends?

[ryan_goal]

Hey people, I know this is an embarrasing questions to ask, but well...since this is an internet forum...

Throughout my life, I've always had a couple of friends during each stage of my life. But as I get older, I am realizing this is simply not enough. It's been a stumbling block for my development either from a personal-life perspective or from my career perspective. I've always admired those who seem to make friends with ease, and have loads of friends no matter where they are.

Any advice on what can I do to get things right?

 

[nird]

If you can't seem to make good friends you should ask a psychologist. I seriously doubt that the SG Lounge is the place for this.

 

[champdave]

Best way is through mutual interest or just being forced onto people. It's surprising how fast you can make friends without really making an effort - I knew noone here at Sheffield Uni when I came up but you get all your "social groups" formed quick

 

[Joe Star]

Wrong place to ask mate. I think friendlessness is the main reason many of us are posting here.......at least I am

 

[Rob]

This thread is for Dr. Tom

 

[Tom]

haha Well someone last time abused my carpet bombing methods of making friends, so my confidence is shaken

Nah busy at minute, but ill post something on Thursday if you still aint got any replies. Cant believe people such as Rob or Shifty (generally confident people ) cant reply though.

Hint, hint.

 

[Gerrard 17]

"I've always admired those who seem to make friends with ease, and have loads of friends no matter where they are"

dude honestly the "loads" of friends don't matter because at the end of the day it's those 2 or 3 or even 1 close friend who have your back no matter what...

i make connections with people easily, and when i'm put in a new environment i quickly make acquaintances, i have a lot of friends to party with, kick it with, do stupid **** with. Out of all these people only a few them would go out of their way to help me out at any time of day or night, and i would do the same for them, and those are the only friends that matter so be happy with what you got. the way i look at it all those other people are just "extras" so you're not missing out much.

 

[RuiCosta_10]

"I've always admired those who seem to make friends with ease, and have loads of friends no matter where they are"

dude honestly the "loads" of friends don't matter because at the end of the day it's those 2 or 3 or even 1 close friend who have your back no matter what...

i make connections with people easily, and when i'm put in a new environment i quickly make acquaintances, i have a lot of friends to party with, kick it with, do stupid **** with. Out of all these people only a few them would go out of their way to help me out at any time of day or night, and i would do the same for them, and those are the only friends that matter so be happy with what you got. the way i look at it all those other people are just "extras" so you're not missing out much.

perfectly put, i usually take a while to adapt to a new group of people but after a while i get to know better people and they get to know me better and firendships will come naturally, never really looked for a friendship i guess they will come to you and not the opposite...

Although i can say i have a group of close friends, like Gerrard said at the end only one or two would get their hands on fire for me, and i'm happy with that.

 

[Funky--K]

i know someone here who'd say:

"go to a bar, strip, dance in your underwear, get wet, u'll make some interesting friends"

 

[King]

Be an outgoing guy, but not as outgoing as mentioned in the above post.

 

[Filipower]

don't open threads like this.

 

[Sir Calumn]

"I've always admired those who seem to make friends with ease, and have loads of friends no matter where they are"

dude honestly the "loads" of friends don't matter because at the end of the day it's those 2 or 3 or even 1 close friend who have your back no matter what...

i make connections with people easily, and when i'm put in a new environment i quickly make acquaintances, i have a lot of friends to party with, kick it with, do stupid **** with. Out of all these people only a few them would go out of their way to help me out at any time of day or night, and i would do the same for them, and those are the only friends that matter so be happy with what you got. the way i look at it all those other people are just "extras" so you're not missing out much.

Exactly... I have the total opposite problem to ryan, I have a huge number of friends of aquaintences so I always have people to do things with, but practically no-one that I would consider close enough to actually confide anything to or talk on a genuine emotional level with. Probably because I'm so obnoxious to everybody.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Even when I was shy people just seemed to like me and I made friends pretty easily somehow. But frankly, I don't have a large number of friends. For example, if you look at my facebook I have 27 friends at my old college. Not very many. I've always just concentrated on having great relationships with a few people. It's bad, but whenever I get introduced to someone new their name goes in one ear and out the other. I have to be introduced a few times, or be convinced that I NEED to know their name in the future to actually remember it.

I'm not a big fan of having a ton of aquaintances, but I've also always been someone who just likes a lot of social down time so to speak. My best advice is to be a likable person who people are drawn to. If you're new in the area and most other people aren't, then you have to make an effort. If there's some friendly potential, suggest some activity you can do together with the new person.

Dave, that's bad advice because when you begin Uni, everyone is in the same boat, so friendships form really fast. It is completely unique to that one situation and not applicable generally.

 

[Hopeunited]

just act nice in general... let everyone think, "hey look it's Ryan_goal, he's so easy-going!" when they see you. That's a good way to start. And try to make conversation, even just little things like saying "hi" when you're sitting beside someone you don't know. If you remain silent, most likely the other person will too, and it's just plain awkwardness. If you said hi and tried to talk, then maybe you can extend a conversation with that person and maybe that conversation will get you through a boring class while you got to know that person.

I dunno. But I think Kader put it well, regarding the real definition of friendship.

 

[treble41]

Posting this on SG? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HA

Oh and stick to those 3-4 close friends you have. And don't waste your time with wankers. Find someone you actually like instead of whoever random who'll talk to you.

 

[The_Knight]

As Gerrard and Shifty said, it's not the quantity of friends. You can have 12 so-called friends, but only 2-3 real ones. If you feel you're lacking on the "friends" section, then you're probably talking about the "real" ones. The others are more likely to be referred to as "acquiantaces", or "people you know". Not people who know you.

As to how to have friends, well it depends on your age. At school, taking part at different activities could bring you closer to those with whom you have mutual interests.

At college, well social-class, a particular sport interest, could be a factors that bring you closer to those with mutual thinking.

At the end of the day, it's the type of friends you make that matter. You can have really close friends, that are "bad" friends. Drag you down, and won't bother to pick you up again. So leave it to come naturally, and don't "seek" for it.

^^^^ That sounded like a spam 'friendship' email btw.

 

[Virgo]

heh actually and in contrary to what you've been saying, I've had a really tough time making friends in college, mostly because I just don't want to be friends with the kind of people there. Mostly surf-boy rich kids or geeks, there seems to be a huge lack of normal mature people at my college.

 

[treble41]

You're so right. There's a complete lack of normal people. My friends are all normal but normal here is sort of peppy. Other people are either geeks or gangsters. They're so friggin hard to talk to.

 

[treble41]

Problem though is that these are the people that are around you so you just have to get along. I can get along with other people because I don't have a problem with patience but some of my friends are annoyed to livin daylights by other people because they get angry and everything so quickly. By the way, someone said something about intramular sports at university. I know that this is off topic from this thread but here's the question anyways. I'm not gonna be able to play soccer, lacrosse, and definetely not gonna be able to play hockey on the school team when I go to university. It's gonna be too hard for me to maintain grades and sports at the same time. I definitely don't wanna stop playing sports though and I heard that some of the universities have intermular sports (or however you spelt it). I was wondering if these are any good. I don't wanna go for a game of soccer with a bunch of fat kids (no offense), I wanna actually play with someone decent. So if you guys play in any of these sports, how're the people and environment there like compared to a high school sports team?

 

[The_Knight]

Well for us, we used to have an annual Ramadan soccer championship at the faculty... friends team up, groups are set, and the championship begins. That was at med school. Nothing hardcore so you shouldn't worry about your grades. It's not like you joined the university team or anything.

The weekly 3-hour game at weekends won't hurt at all too.