Question on college essay

[Zidane420]

At the moment Im writing a college essay which I'm planning on sending to numerous colleges including Boston University and Northeastern. I am planning on talking about my uncle and the influence he has had on my life.




Anyway I was thinking on starting it off by listing influential people in history and the people who taught them what they knew. Like in other words a mentor, someone who helped develope thier character. Well I was just wondering what some good examples would be to use.



Any other tips on how I should go about writing it would also be appreciated? (I'm just trying to get the point across that my uncle helped shape who I've become.)

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Personally, I wouldn't do that, I would just focus on your relationship with your uncle without comparing it. Show why the relationship is unique instead of cheapening it by comparisons.

Socrates taught Plato who taught Aristotle
Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel LaRusso

 

[-William-]

****, I'm almost sure I'll be applying to one of those colleges

 

[TheBlueBalla]

Personally, I wouldn't do that, I would just focus on your relationship with your uncle without comparing it. Show why the relationship is unique instead of cheapening it by comparisons.

Socrates taught Plato who taught Aristotle
Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel LaRusso

Definately. Hokey or cheesey beginnigs or, for that matter, essays in general are sure to be looked over. Imagine how many of these things they get every term. Be direct, be original, and try to sound honest, even if youre telling a story. That worked pretty well for me.

Man, i feel old

 

[Vagegast]

College essays

 

[ShiftyPowers]

College Essays are nothing. I have to write my Law School Personal Statement in the next month or so. And for someone with a low GPA like myself, this is the chance I have to tell them why I belong in their law school. Yikes.

 

[Vagegast]

Yeah, but I'm lazy as hell.

 

[Sir Calumn]

Socrates taught Plato who taught Aristotle

In the books by Plato inwhich he records the conversations between Socrates and others, eg The Republic, do you know if what is said was actually spoken by Socrates if Plato is using him as a character to put across his own ideas and theories?

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Plato uses him as a character to put across his own ideas.

 

[Sir Calumn]

OK, sorry, it's just that I seemed to have a particular agreement with the ideas expressed by the character Socrates and wanted to know if I was agreeing with Socrates or Plato. Thanks.

 

[newbie original]

More professional help would be available on an English forum kind of place or writing help forum.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

By the way, if your school has a writing lab, use it. If you don't have one, ask your current english teacher to read over it for grammar (and to a lesser extent content, but don't let them change much, this is YOUR essay). As a last resort you can ask your guidance counselor, but remember they might not be as qualified as a teacher. Also, ask for a recommendation letter from your most highly regarded teacher. Some guy fresh out of college without a Master's Degree won't have as much influence as a teacher who is experienced, seen many students, and maybe even has a PhD.