Once again the corporate con artists have got the football forums buzzing with opinions about which football game is best. Once again we, the people, not only waste valuable hours in our weeks playing sub – standard badly programmed football Sims but also waste many more hours dribbling on in endless forums about the pros and cons of each game. As relative newcomers to the depressing world of Football Sims and internet opinion my son and I would like to make a few points which, it seems, the majority of you either want to, or can’t help but overlook.
As we have only played (or more to the point, as far as the ‘geniuses’ at E.A Sports are concerned, purchased!) the Fifa titles 2003 and 2004, we can only guess at the validity of the opinions about other titles. Judging by the drooling partisan fanaticism of some of the people who talk about the likes of PES I have to say that we are not that convinced. Yes, we know it is supposed to have wonderful game play. But it is also supposed to have realistic representations of a general assortment of leagues, clubs, kits and players from the planet earth, and not from the planet groovydreamydweeb where teams like bodgecaster rovers and players like Bryan Giss ply their trade in an unbelievable and disappointing parallel universe. That’s it. That’s the end of that argument. Game play, schmameplay, I don’t care if the players can dribble their way past five defenders balancing the ball on their over excited nether regions, have a cup of tea in the penalty area and, make a quick phone call to a student friend in Swansea before back heeling it into the net in front of an ecstatic and adoring public! If it doesn’t look like the real deal then it is most definitely a duck.
Which brings us on to the wonderful world of E.A Sports. (It might be ‘In The Game’ but it’s NOT in yours..). What we would like is realism. That’s all. Just realism. We don’t want ‘arcade feel’, nor do we want to win 4 – 2 every match, and we don’t want our goalkeepers being mysteriously kidnapped and held hostage behind the corner flag, we just want realism. These megalithic computer companies have been investing billions in the writing, programming, designing and manufacture of titles such as Fifa 2004 for around a decade, perhaps even longer. As an impartial and relative newcomer to the genre it is utterly frustrating and infuriating to observe that these ‘wonderful’ and ‘brilliant’ technicians and ‘creators’ are no nearer to creating an adequate football title now than they were when they started. It seems to me that there is as much chance of my son and I gleaning any happiness or pleasure from one of these titles in the next few years than there is of beagle 2 sending a communication back to the overrated time wasters that built it, saying,…”Have made successful landing. Have built colony. Setting up infrastructure in next three weeks. Weather fine. The yank says hi. See you soon”.
So here’s the list… Yes, when you have your back to a defender they make it hard for you to move and they hold onto you and you lose the ball. Yes, when you dive in for a tackle the ball pops up to one of their players and you don’t gain possession. Yes, you breathe on somebody slightly too heavily and the referee blows up for a foul against you. Yes, all these things happen in real football matches. BUT NOT ALL THE SON OF A B****ING, MUTHA ****ING, EVERLOVING, B**TARD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it that the people who programme these games cannot seem to randomise some of the things that go on in them? Perhaps they haven’t been doing it long enough. Perhaps another few decades practise would be useful. It seems that they sit around in their creative brainstorming sessions and various over paid, dweeby, geek programmers pipe up with…”ooohh, I know. What about we make it quite difficult for an attacking player to run past and outpace a defender because in the last game I think we made it too easy”, and everyone goes “Yeahhh!, great idea”. The trouble is there never seems to be anyone at these meetings to say “that’s very good chaps, but how about we don’t make it COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE! While we’re at it lets make certain things happen sometimes , not every time …oh, and by the way…whose brilliant idea was it to not be able to have an international custom tournament which, at least passes for the world cup and, someone explain why it is now impossible to multiplayer except in a friendly match?”. Perhaps the companies who make these games leave out certain things this year just so us poor sheep that buy them will be so happy to buy next years version because they put them back in again. Moi? Cynical?
Quite apart from the obvious and many glitches in the graphics and audio which in themselves are forgivable (since they are probably a result of having to release a title before it has been thoroughly checked, for understandable business reasons), the problems illustrated above are due to utter incompetence, laziness, probably a lack of consultation with people who actually give a toss about football and how it is played, greedy and bad management and just sheer lousy programming by overpaid and overrated conmen. These are the people who sit in the pub having a drink with you wearing quiet, serene, smug expressions on their faces as they explain in detail in their inimitable condescending way why it is they CAN’T do something as if it were a virtue. Much like the average mechanic, builder, plumber and the like who would rather expend valuable energy and time telling you why they can’t help you instead of doing the job properly – then they charge you a fortune for the privilege anyway.
There are many things about fifa 2004 we like a lot. The off the ball running system, once you get used to it is realistic and engaging. The fact that it is difficult to score and chances can be few within the match adds attention and realism which really hits the spot. It is also very exciting when you do score. We would rather have a realistic 0 –0, 1 –1, 1 – 0 or 2 – 0 etc. than the predictable and boring 4 – 2 score lines so ubiquitous in fifa 2003. The corner kicking and the free kicking systems, again, once you get used to them, are much more interesting than hitherto and, incredibly enough, you can actually head the ball in this game. No more Rio Ferdinand producing miraculous overhead kicks every time there is a corner.
The trouble is, no good points about any of these games can ultimately make up for the fact that we, the suckers who hand over the money, are being constantly short changed and ultimately disappointed. I did not buy into the football game genre in order to develop a childish and moronic allegiance to one unbelievably badly written and inadequate game over another, (and if any of these games is not practically perfect in the way it is developed and written then it IS inadequate - and if you think otherwise you are sadly deluded or just have low standards), but to enjoy and participate in the whole experience of managing and playing in a realistic environment under realistic circumstances. Fifa 2004 for all it’s good points sadly and depressingly predictably, once again, provides E.A Sports with a profit margin and me with a combination of apoplectic rage, violent depression and ultimate disappointment. I have no doubt that the rival titles would leave me feeling the same way.
Yes, I should get out more. The trouble is when I do the world is full of people waiting to rip me off. When I stay in and need a little comfort and entertainment. I don’t want to experience some corporate Johnny in a fat office in Bigsville U.S.A who calls football ‘Sahrkuur’ ripping me off through my television screen for £30 a shot. This will be the first and probably the last time I write to a forum, or anywhere that ‘gives expression to the views of ordinary people’ under the delusion that it will have an effect on how things are done. My son and I only hope that one day we may buy a product from a multi billion-dollar company that ACTUALLY fulfils the promises made for it.
“TOTAL GAMEPLAY EXPERIENCE”?
I doubt it, not in my generation. Maybe when I’m in my 70’s….
Ho hum…
R.H. Carter & N. Carter
Surrey, England.
[email protected]
As we have only played (or more to the point, as far as the ‘geniuses’ at E.A Sports are concerned, purchased!) the Fifa titles 2003 and 2004, we can only guess at the validity of the opinions about other titles. Judging by the drooling partisan fanaticism of some of the people who talk about the likes of PES I have to say that we are not that convinced. Yes, we know it is supposed to have wonderful game play. But it is also supposed to have realistic representations of a general assortment of leagues, clubs, kits and players from the planet earth, and not from the planet groovydreamydweeb where teams like bodgecaster rovers and players like Bryan Giss ply their trade in an unbelievable and disappointing parallel universe. That’s it. That’s the end of that argument. Game play, schmameplay, I don’t care if the players can dribble their way past five defenders balancing the ball on their over excited nether regions, have a cup of tea in the penalty area and, make a quick phone call to a student friend in Swansea before back heeling it into the net in front of an ecstatic and adoring public! If it doesn’t look like the real deal then it is most definitely a duck.
Which brings us on to the wonderful world of E.A Sports. (It might be ‘In The Game’ but it’s NOT in yours..). What we would like is realism. That’s all. Just realism. We don’t want ‘arcade feel’, nor do we want to win 4 – 2 every match, and we don’t want our goalkeepers being mysteriously kidnapped and held hostage behind the corner flag, we just want realism. These megalithic computer companies have been investing billions in the writing, programming, designing and manufacture of titles such as Fifa 2004 for around a decade, perhaps even longer. As an impartial and relative newcomer to the genre it is utterly frustrating and infuriating to observe that these ‘wonderful’ and ‘brilliant’ technicians and ‘creators’ are no nearer to creating an adequate football title now than they were when they started. It seems to me that there is as much chance of my son and I gleaning any happiness or pleasure from one of these titles in the next few years than there is of beagle 2 sending a communication back to the overrated time wasters that built it, saying,…”Have made successful landing. Have built colony. Setting up infrastructure in next three weeks. Weather fine. The yank says hi. See you soon”.
So here’s the list… Yes, when you have your back to a defender they make it hard for you to move and they hold onto you and you lose the ball. Yes, when you dive in for a tackle the ball pops up to one of their players and you don’t gain possession. Yes, you breathe on somebody slightly too heavily and the referee blows up for a foul against you. Yes, all these things happen in real football matches. BUT NOT ALL THE SON OF A B****ING, MUTHA ****ING, EVERLOVING, B**TARD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it that the people who programme these games cannot seem to randomise some of the things that go on in them? Perhaps they haven’t been doing it long enough. Perhaps another few decades practise would be useful. It seems that they sit around in their creative brainstorming sessions and various over paid, dweeby, geek programmers pipe up with…”ooohh, I know. What about we make it quite difficult for an attacking player to run past and outpace a defender because in the last game I think we made it too easy”, and everyone goes “Yeahhh!, great idea”. The trouble is there never seems to be anyone at these meetings to say “that’s very good chaps, but how about we don’t make it COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE! While we’re at it lets make certain things happen sometimes , not every time …oh, and by the way…whose brilliant idea was it to not be able to have an international custom tournament which, at least passes for the world cup and, someone explain why it is now impossible to multiplayer except in a friendly match?”. Perhaps the companies who make these games leave out certain things this year just so us poor sheep that buy them will be so happy to buy next years version because they put them back in again. Moi? Cynical?
Quite apart from the obvious and many glitches in the graphics and audio which in themselves are forgivable (since they are probably a result of having to release a title before it has been thoroughly checked, for understandable business reasons), the problems illustrated above are due to utter incompetence, laziness, probably a lack of consultation with people who actually give a toss about football and how it is played, greedy and bad management and just sheer lousy programming by overpaid and overrated conmen. These are the people who sit in the pub having a drink with you wearing quiet, serene, smug expressions on their faces as they explain in detail in their inimitable condescending way why it is they CAN’T do something as if it were a virtue. Much like the average mechanic, builder, plumber and the like who would rather expend valuable energy and time telling you why they can’t help you instead of doing the job properly – then they charge you a fortune for the privilege anyway.
There are many things about fifa 2004 we like a lot. The off the ball running system, once you get used to it is realistic and engaging. The fact that it is difficult to score and chances can be few within the match adds attention and realism which really hits the spot. It is also very exciting when you do score. We would rather have a realistic 0 –0, 1 –1, 1 – 0 or 2 – 0 etc. than the predictable and boring 4 – 2 score lines so ubiquitous in fifa 2003. The corner kicking and the free kicking systems, again, once you get used to them, are much more interesting than hitherto and, incredibly enough, you can actually head the ball in this game. No more Rio Ferdinand producing miraculous overhead kicks every time there is a corner.
The trouble is, no good points about any of these games can ultimately make up for the fact that we, the suckers who hand over the money, are being constantly short changed and ultimately disappointed. I did not buy into the football game genre in order to develop a childish and moronic allegiance to one unbelievably badly written and inadequate game over another, (and if any of these games is not practically perfect in the way it is developed and written then it IS inadequate - and if you think otherwise you are sadly deluded or just have low standards), but to enjoy and participate in the whole experience of managing and playing in a realistic environment under realistic circumstances. Fifa 2004 for all it’s good points sadly and depressingly predictably, once again, provides E.A Sports with a profit margin and me with a combination of apoplectic rage, violent depression and ultimate disappointment. I have no doubt that the rival titles would leave me feeling the same way.
Yes, I should get out more. The trouble is when I do the world is full of people waiting to rip me off. When I stay in and need a little comfort and entertainment. I don’t want to experience some corporate Johnny in a fat office in Bigsville U.S.A who calls football ‘Sahrkuur’ ripping me off through my television screen for £30 a shot. This will be the first and probably the last time I write to a forum, or anywhere that ‘gives expression to the views of ordinary people’ under the delusion that it will have an effect on how things are done. My son and I only hope that one day we may buy a product from a multi billion-dollar company that ACTUALLY fulfils the promises made for it.
“TOTAL GAMEPLAY EXPERIENCE”?
I doubt it, not in my generation. Maybe when I’m in my 70’s….
Ho hum…
R.H. Carter & N. Carter
Surrey, England.
[email protected]
