Cert: 18. Running time: 107mins
Just eyes? How about utterly unrealistic mutants taken out of a ‘B movie’ that deserved to be left firmly in the seventies? Indeed, The Hills Have Eyes is a rather loose remake of Wes Craven's 1977 original of the same name. A dysfunctional family on a roadtrip to California find themselves stranded in the middle of the desert, far away from any kind of urban civilisation. However it isn’t long before they notice weird happenings and it soon becomes apparent they are surrounded by strange “mutants” in what was once a nuclear testing ground used by the military. Disappointingly though, this early pretence of illusion and mystery fails to continue for the entire film, simply moving aside as monotonous bloodshed takes the screen instead. Given that the tagline reads “The lucky ones die first”, it’s just a pity the rest of the cast didn’t too.
Apart from the intriguing Haute Tension in 2003, this is a first crack at directing such a large movie for Alexandre Aja and it certainly shows (in the latter parts of the film). At first it deals with all the issues and situations a good horror should do. We have the naive family from “the city”, the mysteriously abandoned gas station in the middle of nowhere and the unexplainable sounds coming from the hills. Though as the real action starts, Aja loses track of the importance of emotional attachment to the characters, with it essentially becoming a one-trick-pony of the gore-related variety. The script isn’t too bad with some good one-liners, but as with the directing it is heavily clichéd and at times this hurts the film, resulting in many predictable scenes. However, later on parts with the “mutants” that would otherwise be comical are rescued by eerie ramblings from the chair-bound leader of the clan. It’s just a shame this kind of creativity couldn’t be used elsewhere.
However, despite some weak, unbelievable characters and a script with more holes than a sponge, it’s certainly commendable that the cast managed to get any kind of credibility into their roles and in actual fact, salvage it from the jaws of adversity. Emile de Ravin, arguably the most well known of the cast after playing Claire in the hit TV series Lost, manages to pull off possibly the best performance of the bunch as the hapless Brenda, displaying the right amount of teenage angst early on before finding real passion in her final scenes. Aaron Stanford (Pyro in X2) takes the role of geeky Doug and plays the part very well. As the eccentric step-son seemingly hated by his wife's parents, he turns in a real empathetic performance with his baby (whose mother is played by Vinessa Shaw) as he strives to save the ones he loves. The over-ambitious and terribly formulaic father is Ted Levine, a carefree man and a part which suits Levine down to the ground. Shifty Bryd plays teenager Bobby, as with de Ravin, he surprises the audience with a great performance as his descent into insanity unwinds over the course of the film, ending in some particularly engaging scenes with de Ravin herself.
It is the soundtrack (created by double act 'tomandandy') that is by far its greatest downfall though. It seems like the score has been written for another movie and then somehow adapted to fit this one instead. Electric guitar chords mixed with uneventful filler-music simply don't match the sheer carnage onscreen and sound effects are reminiscent of some kind of comedy rather than an outright horror. Like watching the Eurovision results; the film clearly wants to be taken seriously but you just can’t help yourself having a laugh at its expense.
Of course, despite clear musical problems, an inexperienced director and a general lack of a decent plot, this is by no means the worst movie ever. Feeding the appetites of horror fans until something better comes along, it will undoubtedly make a good showing at the box office. Nevertheless it’s just so disappointing that with Wes Craven on board as producer, it promises so much more. I went into this movie expecting big things from the eloquently made trailer, but all The Hills Have Eyes ends up being is unoriginal, poorly directed and with a musical score as good as your average pop song.
2/5 – Funny, but for all the wrong reasons.
It was so so so wank lol