• This is a reminder of 3 IMPORTANT RULES:

    1- External self-promotion websites or apps are NOT allowed here, like Discord/Twitter/Patreon/etc.

    2- Do NOT post in other languages. English-only.

    3- Crack/Warez/Piracy talk is NOT allowed.

    Breaking any of the above rules will result in your messages being deleted and you will be banned upon repetition.

    Please, stop by this thread SoccerGaming Forum Rules And Guidelines and make sure you read and understand our policies.

    Thank you!

The Lame Joke Thread

M

MaestroZidane

YELLOW CARD: Untrustworthy
^^ WOOOW!! 8| now those are things I would never see..

As for this "Two girls in a cup video" Never seen it or have tried to see it. The summary of it is just enough for me.
 
M

Mandieta6

Red Card - Life
Life Ban
Seen it. It was bad, wasn't that bad, though,managed to sit through it. Penis stuff freak me out, especially if it's bleeding.
 
ShiftyPowers

ShiftyPowers

Make America Great Again
MaSsiVe;2720795 said:
that makes 2 of us Shifty, and I think that's how far my curiosity will go on this one.

I often visit websites like e***t, inhumanity or extremefuse though, which mainly consist of ****ed up vids, most of them sex related.
I remember watching shocking stuff like a dude crapping directly into a bitch's mouth, or a guy having his piss hole brutally penetrated by a dildo: the kind of sh't I'll never manage to erase from my mind no matter how much time goes by :(
Click to expand...

I can't even comprehend a dildo fitting up there, but as a loyal Savage Love reader, I'm familiar with "sounding". I would NEVER watch it.

SFW, btw.
 
H

hot_player7

Youth Team
Health Checkup jokes

An old couple goes the doctor, just to check their general health.
The husband goes in first and the doctor says: "Well, Mr. Jones, you are in a perfect shape considering your age."

And the man says: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke and the good Lord takes care of me."

At which point the doctor seems puzzled and says: "What do you mean?"
The old man replies: "For example, last night I had to go to the toilet and God switched on the light for me, so that I wouldn't fall down."

The doctor doesn't understand and asks the man go out and let his wife in.
The woman enters the room and the doctor visits her and says: "You are in a perfect shape, considering your age."

At which the woman replies: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke..."
The doctor interrrupts her: "...and the good Lord takes care of you, doesn't He?"

The woman looks puzzled: "What are you talking about?"
The doctor explains: "Your husband told me. He says the good Lord looks after him. Like last night, when he was in the toilet and God switched on the light for him so that he wouldn't fall."

The woman replies: "Good Lord, he peed in the fridge again!"
 
Keegan

Keegan

Yardie
hot_player7;2722614 said:
Never thought this thread will make many respond...........
Click to expand...

Congratulations. (Y)

So, Billy-Joe, a good ol' boy from Texas, went to Trinidad on vacation. While there, he decided to purchase a night of pleasure from a local prostitute named Sue. They got back to his room, and he took off his shirt and showed off his physique. "Sue?" he said. "These muscles are from Texas, and everything in Texas is big." Kicked out of his pants and said "See how big my thighs are, Sue? They are from Texas, and everything in Texas is big." Finally he dropped his underpants and said "See that, Sue? It's from Texas, and it's big, Sue... can you handle it, Sue?" Sue shyly replied... "I'll try..." So they got down to business, and Billy-Joe found himself swinging left and right like a fast car with bad tyres on a rainy night. Billy-Joe cried out - "Sue? Sue? Are you from Texas too?"

:innocent_smile_1:
 
L

leungtl

Manager
Staff member
hot_player7;2722614 said:
Never thought this thread will make many respond...........
Click to expand...

It would help if you don't start another new thread with another crappy joke so it saves me the effort of merging it with this thread.
 
A

AlienSeafood

Senior Squad
Keegan;2722807 said:
Congratulations. (Y)

So, Billy-Joe, a good ol' boy from Texas, went to Trinidad on vacation. While there, he decided to purchase a night of pleasure from a local prostitute named Sue. They got back to his room, and he took off his shirt and showed off his physique. "Sue?" he said. "These muscles are from Texas, and everything in Texas is big." Kicked out of his pants and said "See how big my thighs are, Sue? They are from Texas, and everything in Texas is big." Finally he dropped his underpants and said "See that, Sue? It's from Texas, and it's big, Sue... can you handle it, Sue?" Sue shyly replied... "I'll try..." So they got down to business, and Billy-Joe found himself swinging left and right like a fast car with bad tyres on a rainy night. Billy-Joe cried out - "Sue? Sue? Are you from Texas too?"

:innocent_smile_1:
Click to expand...

umm....what? :icon_spin:
 
J

Jaboldinho

Fan Favourite
That one reminded me of one Jimmy Carr video, where his opening act is a screen where the jokes appear. He had jokes similar to leungtl's one, maybe even with that rape punchline, but I couldn't find the video. I remember one of them, so here it is.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?











































An erection.
 
M

Mandieta6

Red Card - Life
Life Ban
Keegan;2723425 said:
Who was it that wanted a rape joke? Az? He should be all set now.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's a bit late now, though. It stops being topical a few days of the rape happens.
 
MaSsiVe

MaSsiVe

Manager
Staff member
Moderator
Jaboldinho;2723432 said:
That one reminded me of one Jimmy Carr video, where his opening act is a screen where the jokes appear. He had jokes similar to leungtl's one, maybe even with that rape punchline, but I couldn't find the video.
Click to expand...
yeah I had it on my youtube favourites but it's been removed...either way the one leungtl posted is also Jimmy Carr material.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.


Top