I walk into the local pub/club/drinking/socializing institution. So, I am there. She is there. She is there with her friend, visiting from out of town. Possibly just accompanying her friend or maybe with much more cruel intentions. From my vantage point, she is standing under a part of what looks like a wall and there is a light about 12 inches above her head. She's all dolled up like the typical expensive escort that she looks like she wants to be.
After several cold drinks, I decide that it is time for me to go up to her. I have a cold drink in my right hand. Between me and her is the bar. I transfer my drink to my left hand, drop it off at the bar and resume my journey towards her and the light above her head. The night lights of the club/pub are shining off her excessive makeup and (probably) fake (and not strong enough) tan. Upon getting closer, I realize that she is standing directly in front of the men's bathroom. She is all alone, her friend is probably off frolicking elsewhere in the bar/pub and she has left this one alone, fresh and with a glass in her hand.
Hi, what is your name.
My name is Pippa.
Pippa! Ha!
Is that short for something?
No. My name is Pippa....
My, that is such a.....
...Middleton and I'm engaged.
cartoonish &%$^ng name! So get out of my way, I need to urinate.