Unfunny

[Haukur Gudnason]

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.
A man walks into a bar.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.


Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.


What do you call a cat with no tail?
A manx cat.


Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.


How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.


Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.


Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last nig! ht I saw lots of
strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'


Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.


Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.





Morning all
:chew: :fool:

 

[Andrew]

Good Morning

 

[Frostwolf]

I eat cereal for breakfast, what about you?

 

[Haukur Gudnason]

I eat Russians

 

[Parra Power]

What did the man say to the cow on the roof?





Get down





Why is it not a good idea to fly a kite at night?





Because you can't see it well.





Why are there 365 days in a year?





Because that is roughly the time it takes the earth to complete an orbit of the sun

 

[Haukur Gudnason]

Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, "Catch up."



:chick:

 

[PhiLLer]

As funny as rabies in a guide dogs home.

 

[gagiz]

LMAo, even tho this is a useless thread, it still is pretty funny.

 

[jani]

knock knock

whos there?

Mary

hey hi Mary whats up?

oh I was just bored

let come in and talk

lets

so, Mary, what did you do yesterday?

nothing

oh

ok

 

[Mutt]

 

[leungtl]

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
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If you thought the answer was "To see time fly" YOU'RE WRONG.
Real Answer below...
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Because it was Broken.

 

[Haukur Gudnason]

More black humour please.

 

[Will]

For some reason I actually laughed

-What did the farmer say when he lost his chickens?
where are my chickens?

 

[Gerrard 17]

It's been posted before... my fav joke ever


A man, who's head is half an orange, walks into a pub. He goes to the bar and the bartender says "What the hell's happened to your head?" The man says, "Oh, it's a long story" but the bartender wants to know "Go on tell me, I've got plenty of time"

So, the man with a head that's half an orange starts: "Well, I went into this antique shop a few years ago and as I was browsing around I found this lamp I liked. I rubbed it and out of nowhere appeared this genie. The genie, being a typical genie, said I'll grant you three wishes. So I say, That's great!, for my first wish I want a million pounds! A million bank notes appeared infront of me... For my second wish, I'll have hmm, a Ferrari F60!, I look out the window and see a Ferrari F60 parked outside. The genie then says, so what do you want for your third wish?
"I want my head to be half an orange"

 

[Dan the monkey]

I dont get it

 

[ShearerM4]

hilarious.

 

[Will]

Originally posted by ShearerM4


hilarious.

can you explain it

 

[manutd4eva]

Best. Thread. Ever.

My contribution:

A Jamaican asks a Korean what's "strong back"(Jamaican sexual tonic for those who don't know), Korean replies, "a working horse".

 

[Hyun]

Why did a chicken cross the street?


Because it was running from the chicken farmer.

 

[The Don't]

Originally posted by Gerrard 17
It's been posted before... my fav joke ever


A man, who's head is half an orange, walks into a pub. He goes to the bar and the bartender says "What the hell's happened to your head?" The man says, "Oh, it's a long story" but the bartender wants to know "Go on tell me, I've got plenty of time"

So, the man with a head that's half an orange starts: "Well, I went into this antique shop a few years ago and as I was browsing around I found this lamp I liked. I rubbed it and out of nowhere appeared this genie. The genie, being a typical genie, said I'll grant you three wishes. So I say, That's great!, for my first wish I want a million pounds! A million bank notes appeared infront of me... For my second wish, I'll have hmm, a Ferrari F60!, I look out the window and see a Ferrari F60 parked outside. The genie then says, so what do you want for your third wish?
"I want my head to be half an orange"

i'm proud to have brought that joke to SG