Haha, that is so Tom
Anyway, I realise that many of you would like to write a poem for your loved ones, but dont have the level of talent or flair of someone like me, or are suffering from writers block so I have therefore written a poem which you can copy and use as you like, free of charge.
I love you like Jesus loves his flock,
And I'm talking about people, not sheep,
Cos I'm not into that ****,
But could be if you really want
And I include Judas in that, by the way, because I subscribe to modern gospel of Judas thinking and am not a slave to traditional catholic dogma,
I love you like a priest loves all children,
Except those naughty priests they keep reassigning,
Though being a woman/homosexual (delete as appropriate) the church doesnt actually love you very much
Maybe this is a bad analogy
But you get the point
I want to take you outside and make love on the grass like pedigree dogs,
Referring to the lust of our love making, not your appearance,
When we're together I feel like one of the Greek gods,
And not the ****ty goat one either.
You're more beautiful than a dead republican,
More intelligent than the most powerful man in the world,
Your sense of humour is so good that you could be a female comedian, the type we all know and love,
Even Homer could not have done justice to the story of our love as it unfurled
(Though personally I am undecided on the age old Homeric question, so let me rephrase that)
Even Homer, the two Homers or the collection of greek oral poets who across time built up the works now attributed to the blanket name of Homer, could not have done justice to the story of our love as it unfurled
I bestow upon you all my love,
Your beauty smacks me like a duelling glove,
Your elegance like a tiny white dove,
You're so hot I need to handle you with an oven glove,
You must have come from the stars above,
You are very nice.
