I am ashamed to admit that I am giving up porn (but not masturbation) cos I'm a thick ****. Let me explain:
I've never properly downloaded porn on the risk of getting caught (my mum would kill me) although I used to temporarily download the occasional video. On one particular occasion I was just settling down to watch a video (a number of naked women armed with a variety of sex toys playing Twister) when I am interrupted by someone entering the house. Needless to say, I quickly close down the video. Later, I return to the computer, open Windows Media Player to listen to some music and am confronted by the aforementioned ladies (God knows how it happened, I've never got Media Player to resume anything since). This was on the family laptop. I shudder to think of the consequences if someone else had got there before me.
From that point onwards I vowed to be more careful and to limit myself to viewing pictures on the internet (as near as dammit to risk free, I thought).
Wind forward a few moths to today. I open up Firefox to check my e-mails. On my bookmarks toolbar there is a strange new icon linked to a file perfectly innocently entitled 'image'. After wondering what the **** it was and how it got there, I made a schoolboy error. I opened it.
Just to give some crucial background information, my computer is in one of the main rooms in my house.
I was presented with a beautiful photo of a stark naked woman.
By some extrodinary stroke of luck, everyone else in the house was upstairs at the time. I can only guess at how it got there but assume that I must have accidentaly dragged the image onto the toolbar without noticing, automatically bookmarking the page.
I have therefore decided that it is best to give up before my luck runs out
