So I found this unusual site...

[Tajike]

http://www.chacha.com/

Users Manual: 1) Type in search word 2) Click "search with guide" 3) Point and laugh at guide

Search word: "pessimism"

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: vicsO
vicsO: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi vic
vicsO: Hello
vicsO: How can I help today?
You: i don't feel too well
vicsO: Oh oh.
You: oh oh indeed
vicsO: Sorry about that.
You: thank you
You: you're a true friend
vicsO: So what can I do to help?
You: i hate life
You: got something for that
vicsO: No, don't think that way.
You: what way? left or right?
vicsO: If their is life,their is still hope left,okay.
You: thank you vic
vicsO: I will send some sites.
You: much appreciated
vicsO: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: is that it, vic?
vicsO: Pls read the las tsite.
You: i will
vicsO: The last site will make you laugh
You: oh vic that last one made me giggle like a little girl
vicsO: ha ha
vicsO: What you needed this sunday morning.
vicsO: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: no thank you
You: have a nice day
vicsO: have a n optimistic day.
vicsO: bye
vicsO: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

Pessimism
http://www.coping.org/anger/pessimis.htm

Pessimism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Pessimism&action=edit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pessimist

The Key To Happiness: Learning How To Be Optimistic And Happy by Mary Ann Troiani: The Sideroad
http://www.sideroad.com/Self_Help/key-to-happiness.html

Jokes Jokes Jokes - The World's Best One Liners
http://www.best-oneliners.com/

Search word: "mexicans and moustaches"

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: sherric
sherric: Welcome to ChaCha!
sherric: hi
You: hi sherric
sherric: I am Sherri, I will be assisting you in your search today.
You: i really hope you can help me
You: got a task for school
sherric: your looking for photos of mexicans and moustaches?
You: "what's the link between mexicans and their moustaches"
You: help!
sherric: it makes them look macho
You: you think so?
sherric: I am hispanic and I was married to Mexican
sherric: they always have to have that hair above their lips
You: ain't masculinity great?
sherric: Many of the Mexican are of Indian blood and that is about all the hair they can grow on their faces
sherric: lol
You: hehe the things you learn every day
sherric: my ex was part Aztac Indian and all he could grow was the hair over his lup
You: lup?
sherric: lol lip*
You: is that something aztec aswell
You: ah k
sherric: want me to do a search for you?
You: if you'd be so kind senorita
sherric: por nada
sherric:
sherric: my son is almost 25 I asked him if he was going to grow a moustach and he said it would look tacky
sherric: he looks just like my Ex it is very errie to look at him
You: hehe apple doesn't fall far from the tree
sherric: that is for sure, non of the kids I had by him look like me
sherric: they are carbon copies of him
sherric: and he was telling everyone that they were not his kids
sherric: hence the part about him being my ex now
You: lol
You: say sherri
sherric: ?
You: is that the only result?
sherric: so far
You: ah k
You: i've got to go now
You: thank you for your help
sherric: ok have a great day
sherric: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

New Statesman - And a big hand to . . .
Mexicans without moustaches: Another racial stereotype ruined.
http://www.newstatesman.com/200607170042

 

[Filipower]

haha classic as always Tajike

 

[Tom]

oh man, what a site

 

[jatin]

Search -Jose Mourinho

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LeonB
LeonB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hi
LeonB: hello
You: wanted a bio of this man
You: no results?
LeonB: okay moment
You: how do i know u arnt a bot?
LeonB: nobody's a bot
LeonB: we all bleed red blood
You: hmm..or some indian in a call centre?
You: hmm..nice philosophy der..
LeonB: born and raised id detroit
You: hmm...so how many ppl bug u daily?
LeonB: not enough
LeonB: did that page help
You: hmm..with the forums ur link is now spread in, u sure will have some funny company in the days to come
You: yeah, it did...also..be on the lookout for dragan,king,and yeah..tom.
LeonB: i hope so it would make time go by
You: sure..take care..bye!
LeonB: what or who is that
LeonB: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

hmm...nice find!

 

[Haukur Gudnason]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JessicaV
JessicaV: Welcome to ChaCha!
JessicaV: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
JessicaV: What can I search for you?
You: Good, quick we don't have much time
JessicaV: What are you looking for?
You: Where do I stand with the law if I shoot an intruder who is breaking into my house ?
You: In England
JessicaV: Ok just a moment while I search that
You: Quickly I don't have much time!
You: Fiddlesticks, he's in the front room
JessicaV: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: Please JessicaV I need to know before I make a drastic decision
You: what I do in the next couple of minutes could change my life forever, I can hear him in the front room, I think he's taking my DVD player.
JessicaV: It looks like you will do time if you shoot a burlar in enland
You: hang on....
You: Oh no!
JessicaV: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Yes
You: I've just shot my Dad, he's come home from the pub late. Where can I bury him?
JessicaV: Im sorry but I cant help you with that. Would you like to be transferred to another guide?
You: No its Ok, I have to attend to something. Do you know where I can buy a shovel at this time of night?
JessicaV: No Im not sure, sorry
JessicaV: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
JessicaV: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

 

[Tom]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JanetS
JanetS: Welcome to ChaCha!
JanetS: hello
JanetS: Please be more specific as to what you're looking for on this topic.
You: Hi there, i'm tom
You: from UK
JanetS: hello Tom from UK!
You: was wondering if you could tell me what the legal age is for sexual consent here?
JanetS: Sure
JanetS: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: yeh quicker would be better though!
You: she's not happy you see
JanetS: oh, sorry
You: yeh i will be
You: ah ok, so it's 16
You: what do you think the connotations for 15yr olds would be?
JanetS: i will check
You: she's also asking if you've got the number for the UK child protection line
You: god, what's she like!
JanetS: sure
JanetS: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: oh god she's screaming blue murder now, take a tip from me Janet, stick to dudes over 16!
JanetS: I am a grandma!
You: ill not ask how old your grandchildren are
You: unless you want to tell me
JanetS: 3 year old
JanetS: Are these results sufficient?
You: ... nah too young.
You: yeh cheers love
You: cya
JanetS: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: no no, that's it
You: the next decision is up to me
You: not her.
JanetS: have a great day!! yes
You: bye
JanetS: of course
JanetS: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Needless to say she provided me with excellent links.

 

[King]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DelaineL
DelaineL: Welcome to ChaCha!
DelaineL: Hello and good afternoon.
You: whats up homie?
DelaineL: Not much, how about you today?
You: Chillin like a villian
You: u ever heard of emma watson?
DelaineL: Let me get you some information on her today, one moment please.
You: Can u find me some naked pictures of her?
DelaineL: Session ending due to restricted content
Status: Session ended.

Tom, I tried to help ya but.....

 

[night]

What a great site!

 

[Hans]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JenniferM
JenniferM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi
JenniferM: Hello.
You: I am looking for free porn, got any ?
JenniferM: There are two sites to help you overcome your terrible addiction to porn.

Ok, believe it or not, in the end, it gave me a link into a "#1 Christian Porn Site"... Lol...

 

[ogsimon]

Great find mate!

 

[Stotty]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JessicaV
JessicaV: Welcome to ChaCha!
JessicaV: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
JessicaV: What can I search for you?
You: Good, quick we don't have much time
JessicaV: What are you looking for?
You: Where do I stand with the law if I shoot an intruder who is breaking into my house ?
You: In England
JessicaV: Ok just a moment while I search that
You: Quickly I don't have much time!
You: Fiddlesticks, he's in the front room
JessicaV: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: Please JessicaV I need to know before I make a drastic decision
You: what I do in the next couple of minutes could change my life forever, I can hear him in the front room, I think he's taking my DVD player.
JessicaV: It looks like you will do time if you shoot a burlar in enland
You: hang on....
You: Oh no!
JessicaV: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Yes
You: I've just shot my Dad, he's come home from the pub late. Where can I bury him?
JessicaV: Im sorry but I cant help you with that. Would you like to be transferred to another guide?
You: No its Ok, I have to attend to something. Do you know where I can buy a shovel at this time of night?
JessicaV: No Im not sure, sorry
JessicaV: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
JessicaV: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

haha ewan +1

 

[Mandieta6]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: NnekaB
You: Hello
NnekaB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Yes, thanks
You: I'm looking for a site
NnekaB: Certainly
NnekaB: Please be more specific as to what you're looking for on this topic.
You: I want to get married, I'm 70
You: do you know anyone?
NnekaB: No problem
NnekaB: I will search some sites out for you
You: I want a french girl, but she must speak english
You: No, that's not good
NnekaB: While I am searching, have you had a chance to look at the relevant links at the side of the page?
You: Yes, they're not good
You: I want someone to send me a bride, she needs to have some experience, big breasts
NnekaB: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: Are you french?
You: No, no, no, I don't want senior people meet, I want a busty young french blonde, who is willing to suck on my wrinkly penis, STD's irrelevant
You: Are you busty, Nnneka?
You: What bra size are you?
You: Are you french?
You: Are you young?
You: Are you french?
NnekaB: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

That sucked...

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CarrieH
CarrieH: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello
CarrieH: Hello
CarrieH: How are you today?
You: I was wondering if you could help me with my search
CarrieH: Is there something specific about this topic I can find?
You: Not good, actually
You: I'm not good
CarrieH: I am sorry to hear that
You: Thanks, it's nice to talk to another human being, it's been weeks since I have
CarrieH: O dear
You: Yeah, it's been hard since she died
CarrieH: o?
CarrieH: who?
You: My brother told me to start seeing other people, but I just can't, I still aven't buried her
You: My wife
You: She got raped and stabbed 3 months ago
CarrieH: maybe its too soon? to see others I mean
You: They even forced me to watch
You: I think so
You: But I'm looking for burial sites, to get closure
CarrieH: oh
CarrieH: Please be more specific as to what you're looking for on this topic.
You: Can you please find me the best burial site in Manchester
You: This is just so hard
You: Why did they have to leave me? Why couldn't they kill me as well?
CarrieH: I think you may have to find a support group..
You: No, it's ok
CarrieH: Are these results sufficient?
You: I'm talking to you, that's good enough
You: Maybe
CarrieH: great
You: Ok, I need help on another thing
CarrieH: ok.
You: Yesterday I saw one of the men who killed my wife, will I go to jail for killing him? I know where he lives, but I need to know if I could get off
CarrieH: Are you still with me?
CarrieH: that is a question for another guide... I'll transfer you now
You: No please, you make me feel better!
CarrieH: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Bitch left me hanging, didn't even transfer me.

 

[mika]

Search With Guide is disabled because you have been involved in a possible abusive action. Our abuse alert is set at a low threshold to protect our visitors and guides.

If you feel that you have received this message in error, please e-mail us at [email protected] with a request for re-entry to our site.

We appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

lmao, I was just asking for a site that I can purchase an anti-aircraft system to install in my backyard...

 

[Sir Calumn]

Wow, this is definately a game of skill. They will kick you off for any little thing, yet you still have to keep it amusing and aviod babbling. Highly addictive. And the best part is, you're taking away valuable time and resources from those who really need help.

The best so far are Ewan's, Tom's and Mandieta6's second one.

Amazing find Taj

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: Anna MarieB
Anna MarieB: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi
Anna MarieB: Good afternoon!
Anna MarieB: How can I help you search today ?
You: Please excuse me if I dont know the proper ettiquette, I have never used this service before
Anna MarieB: That is alright
Anna MarieB: How can I help
You: But I have just had an amazing spiritual experience which I feel compelled to talk to someone about
Anna MarieB: Shall I find you some chat rooms
You: Well I would like to ask your advise if I may
Anna MarieB: As a guide I am not allowed to do that
Anna MarieB: But would be more than happy to help you search
You: Well, let me explain and then you can see what you think
You: Today I was eating lunch at McDonalds
You: A proper meal you understand, I'm not one of those cheapskates that just comes in and orders one thing
Anna MarieB: Alright...
You: I hate those b@stards
Anna MarieB: Please dont swear
You: Would you please let me finish!
You: Anyway, I was eating a hamburger
You: Or sandwich as I think you call them
Anna MarieB: I call them hamburgers
You: Why wont you let me finish!
You: Anyway, I accidently knocked my coke all over the table
You: Not cocaine by the way
Anna MarieB: That's good to hear
You: And not the coal either, just plain old Coca-Cola
Anna MarieB: Do you have anything you need me to search for you?
You: Please let me finish!
You: Anyway, I knocked over my Coca-Cola and it spilled out, and in it I saw a face.
Anna MarieB: Would you like me to show you results on divine apparitions?
You: Well, it wasn't exactly a divine apparition, it was Elton John
Anna MarieB: I will find some links for you.
Anna MarieB: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
Anna MarieB: Did those links help you?
You: For God's sake woman, I know what the man looks like!
Anna MarieB: Well what is it you want me to find?
You: Isn't it obvious?
You: Sir Elt has obviously chosen me.
Anna MarieB: Chosen you?
You: Yes, chosen me. He wants me to form a new church in his name and preach his gospel.
You: For you see, I've always led my life like a candle in the wind
Anna MarieB: Can I find you some links about the formation of churchs?
You: No, no, why wont you listen to me?
Anna MarieB: I have been listening
Anna MarieB: But you need to tell me what to search for.
Anna MarieB: You are taking up other peoples time
You: Want I want to know is, if Sir Elton John's face, in a puddle of coca-cola, tells me to go out and burn down a synagogue, am I justified in doing it?
Anna MarieB: What?
Anna MarieB: Nothing would justify that
Anna MarieB: I think you are messing me around
Anna MarieB: And you've wasted alot of peoples time
Anna MarieB: I hope you're proud
You: Just my luck to get landed with a HERETIC
Anna MarieB: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Be careful, if you swear it automatically kicks you off, so always mispell it.

 

[mika]

hahahahaha lmfao!!!!! he gave me some good links haha

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: BryceM
BryceM: Welcome to ChaCha!
BryceM: What can I find for you?
You: Hi, I would like to purchase c4 explosives over the internet, can u please help me?
BryceM: is that a bomb...?
You: yes, I need it for a chemistry project...
BryceM: let me see what i can do for you...
BryceM: i am just curious what is your experiment.. i am working on this retarded experiment right now with laundry detergant for science class >
You: it's complicated, involves the breaking down of atoms and stuff.... how about fireworks?
BryceM: hold on i am still looking for the explosives
BryceM: there is some stuff on making your own..
You: nice, thank you

 

[The Don't]

Status: Connected to guide: JulianK
JulianK: Welcome to ChaCha!
JulianK: Hi there.
You: Hi
JulianK: How are you today?
You: How may I help you with your search?
You: I'm okay thanks.
JulianK: How can I help you?
You: By telling me how I can help you with your search please.
JulianK: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

.

 

[rony31]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: ElizabethJ
ElizabethJ: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hello
You: hello?
You: *cries* why wont you talk to me
You: is it because im ugly?
You: well i was trying to search for online anti-suicide chat rooms
You: but thanks to u i no longer think i need it
You: u just made up my mind for me
You: goodbye world
You: Thanks, I'm done.
Status: Session ended.
Status: No connection.

wonder what she'll think when she's back from the crapper

 

[Krypton X]

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: ChristyM
ChristyM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hi
You: Im looking to buy a child
You: preferably for less than 10 grand
ChristyM: Can you be more specific
You: because they won't let me adopt one
You: can you find me a child from Sweden or Norway
You: female if possible
ChristyM: One moment please while I look....

* Links about adoption *

You: Hi you sent me adoption sites, where can I find ones where they have children for sale?
ChristyM: Why don't you adopt instead?
You: because they won't let me
You: since i'm not married
ChristyM: I'm sorry to hear that
You: and also because I just got out of jail
You: I had to serve some time because I was accused of pedophilia
You: But it's totally BS
You: She told me she was 18, there's no way in hell that she's really 13.
<pause>
ChristyM: Can I assist you with any other search tonight?
You: So where do you live Christy?
ChristyM: I live in Michigan.
You: seriously? I'm heading over there next month
You: Do you wanna like meet up and hangout sometime?
You: maybe you can help me locate some good children to buy then
ChristyM: I can't sorry.
You: Why not?
You: I'm really lonely.
You: and I lost my girlfriend just recenly
ChristyM: That's very unfortunate.
You: ya we were making out then i accidentally pressed her against the corner of the table and she popped, i think i inflated her too much
ChristyM: Ok I think you're just playing with me now.
You: no i'm serious, can't i even have your number?
ChristyM: Sorry that's not possible.
You: my intentions are sincere, it'll be a big help if i can call you and get some professional advice, as i'm interested in becoming an elite guide just like you.
You: do you think they'll let me work there?
ChristyM: sure.
ChristyM: You can work here as long as you meet all the requirements.
ChristyM: You don't need my number for that, I will find you the relevant link for you in a moment.

* Link *

You: thanks, so it wouldn't be a big problem if i happened to be a pedophile?
ChristyM: I'm not sure
You: So what's the pay like over there?
ChristyM: It's $5 p/h
You: That's not much, it'll take me a very long time to save up for a child with that salary.
You: especially if I wanna buy one from Sweden.
ChristyM: Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended

Bummer. All that and I still got no help on where to buy a child.

 

[BayernFan01]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CandaceH
CandaceH: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hey candace
CandaceH: Hi
You: how r u
CandaceH: fine, thanks for asking
CandaceH: Is there something that you'd like help searching for?
You: yes im lookign for love
CandaceH: okay, and what can I find for you online that would help?
You: i think i already found it
CandaceH: alright, good luck then
CandaceH: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

 

[leungtl]

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KyleA
KyleA: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hello
You: i have a school project
KyleA: Hi there! How can I help you with this search?
You: and i need 2 find some information
You: to help me with
You: france and their war victorys
You: because the teacher is making us
You: do a 3o minute oral presentations on the topic we did
KyleA: Something like that?
You: (sorry, my internet slow, the website is loading)
You: the site only show images
You: we are not allowed image presentations
KyleA: This one lists all the wars
You: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html ?
You: that is quite a good link thank you