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Some stupid things said by people involved in football.

jackie4

Starting XI
you know the sort of thing. Managers, players and commentators come out with statements that make you laugh.

Here's a few good ones.

"Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." (Steve Lomas)


"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none." (Kevin Keegan)


"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales" (Ron Greenwood)


"England were beaten in the sense that they lost." (Dickie Davies)


"Two questions - why were England so poor, and if they were poor, why?" (Ian Payne)


"How will Sir Stanley Matthews be remembered? As a living legend." (England supporter)
 

TOON ARMY

Starting XI
"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough." (Jonathan Woodgate)

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." (Ian Rush)

"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet." (David Beckham)

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals." (Thierry Henry)

"I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football." (Les Ferdinand)
 

SCP19O6

Senior Squad
"A classic is a classic, and vice-versa" (Mário Jardel)

(when a player did a drible using both feet): "The advantage of having two legs!" (Gabriel Alves, portuguese TV commentator)

"My heart only has one color: blue and white" (João Pinto, FC Porto 80's player)
 

Johnny_Big

Starting XI
Haha...here in Portugal we have some legendary ones. (H)

I need to get some of those, I don't quite remember them.
 

jackie4

Starting XI
That's a wise substitution by Terry Venables: three fresh men, three fresh legs." (Jimmy Hill)


"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." (Jimmy Hill)


"Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? (Jimmy Hill)
"I think it's 50-50." (Terry Venables)
 

theo

VII
"Nigeria participated at many european championships in the last decades"
Mircea Sandu, president of the Romanian Football Federation
 

NightCrawler

Youth Team
I coudn't reach that ball, even if I had 2 lungs... (Roger, ex-Benfica player)

To the president of Timor in Estadio da Luz - When will you have a stadium like this? (Luis Baila, Field Reporter)

Benfica is playing very well in a 3x4x3x3 form... (Gabriel Alves, Commentator)

A pass to a zone of nobody, where there actually was nobody.. (Same guy)

He lost his chance to score..... GOAL! (same guy)

Giggs, a player who concludes well, of the onward half-field! (same guy)
(Giggs, um jogador que remata bem do meio campo para a frente)


Gabriel Alves is a great source of Stupidity!
 

nor-rbk

Head Official
Moderator
Haha, some of them are really good. :p


"He deserved his second yellow card, but it was unnecessary by the referee to give him the red card. We need to avoid seeing that kind of refeering any more." (Ivar Hoff, Norwegian football expert)

"They have won 66 matches and scored in all of them." (Brian Moore)
 

SCP19O6

Senior Squad
In a newspaper article, wich is even worse: "Everytime Schmeichel doesn't conceed goals, Sporting doesn't lose."
 

Funky--K

Starting XI
just one legendary from Jardel for portuguese readers only (not funny translated)

"Eu chutei, ela foi indo, indo, indo... e iu!"

and some more Gabriel Alves ones:

"The national team didn't do neither well or badly. On the opposite."

"Here's Rui Aguas in his unmistakeble class... no wait, it's Veloso"
 

MikeyM

Big Daddy
Kevin Keegan : There's only one team that can win this now and that's England (as Shifty Petrescu calmly slots in the winner for Romania.

Keegan again with Brian Moore;

Moore (on David Batty's penalty) "In a word will he score"
Keegan "Yes" Nooooooooooooooo (as Batty fluffs the kick)




Mike
 

Hendrik

Team Captain
'I just say one word: Thank you.'
- Andreas Brehme

'Even if I could walk over water my critics would say he can't even swim.'
- Berti Vogts

'The Croats kick at everything that moves, so our midfield should have nothing to worry about.'
- Berti Vogts

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.'
- David Beckham

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
- Mark Draper

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.'
- Ade Akinbiyi

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
- David Beckham

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.'
- Gary Lineker

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.'
- Richard Rufus




Kevin Keegan:

'It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.'
'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.'

'There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion...'

'Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.'

'This could be a repeat of the final.'

'The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it.'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different'

'Despite his white boots, he has real pace...'

'You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw...'

'He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.'

'There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.'

'...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.'

'One of his strengths is not heading' (of course, one of Keggy's strengths is not talking)

'Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.'

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'

'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'

'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'

'A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.'

'That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong.'

'I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon.'

'Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries...'

'In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.'

'I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time.'

'It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me.'

'Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial.'

'Young Gareth Barry - he's young'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'Football's always easier when you've got the ball'

'They don't come every three days, like they come after this one'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'We have spent three matches chasing a football.'

'It's no longer an 11 man game.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'For some it's the ultimate job, for the others it's the last job.'

'I've had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.'

'We managed to wrong a few rights.'

'We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'
 

NightCrawler

Youth Team
More from João Pinto Porto's player:
My club was on the edge of a cliff, but we made the right choice and took a step ahead.

In Portugal we have quite alot, but most of them are only funny in Portuguese:

- Não foi nada de especial, chutei com o pé que estava mais à mão.

- Prógnosticos só no fim do jogo! (this one is a classic, I can't remember the English word for Prógnosticos)

- Comigo ou sem-migo o Porto vai ser campeão!

- Estamos felizes porque estamos contentes!

Reporter: Boa Sorte para o jogo!
JP: Obrigado, igualmente..

Querem fazer de nós bodes-respiratórios!! (Augusto Inácio)

P.S. - If someone can translate this so the other users can understand them, go right ahead!
 


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