The Lame Joke Thread

[Theodorakis]

the trouble with this thread is; you read posts and you want to neg people because the jokes you've been reading are annoying as hell but, for a moment you realize that this is a lame jokes thread.. it's your fault being here in the first place..



what else do you expect...

 

[newbie original]

Male: Knock knock
Female: Who's there?
Male: Me
Female: Me, who?
Male: Me wondering why you're not naked.

Male: Knock knock
Female: Who's there?
Male: Me
Female: Me, who?
Male: Me STILL wondering why you're not naked.

 

[Back Door Skip]

Terrible.

 

[yoyo913]

lol

 

[rony31]

Why does this thread exist. It's just disappointment after disappointment

 

[Theodorakis]

I was expecting a neg from a catastrophic idiot for my post above and along it came..

god, stupidity is so predictable..

 

[newbie original]

Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?

-----------X-------------

I went to the butcher's yesterday, and bet him fifty dollars that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

----------------X--------------

A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables.
Bartender: You can come in, but don't start anything!

---------------X-----------------

A man was in an elevator, and the elevator guy kept calling him, 'son'.
Man: Why do you keep calling me son?
Elevator guy: Ha?
Man: You're not my father!
Elevator guy: I brought you up, didn't I?

---------------X---------------

Dog: Why are fish so smart?
Cow: I don't know.
Dog: Think about it for a few seconds....
Cow: Mooo moooo moooooo moooooooo.....I give up.
Dog: Because they live in schools.

--------------X-----------------

 

[newbie original]

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?
A: "Robin get in the car"

----------------------

Q: What is noisier than a cat stuck in a tree?
A: Two cats.

-----------------------

Q: What gets wetter as it dries?
A: A towel.

-----------------

Q. What do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
A. Ed Wood.

Q. What do you call a man with two pieces of wood on his head?
A. Edward Wood.

Q. What do you call a man with three pieces of wood on his head?
A. Edward Woodward.

Q. What do you call a man with four pieces of wood on his head?
A. Edward Woodward would.

------------------------------

Q: What are the similarities between a plum and an elephant?
A: They're both purple except for the elephant

--------------------------------

Q: Whats blue and red and sits in a tree?
A: A brick wearing jeans.

--------------------------------

Q: What's yellow and doesn't float?
A: A bulldozer.

-----------------------------

Q: What's red and invisible?
A: No tomatoes.

 

[Ubik Valis]

Please stop posting in this thread.

 

[newbie original]

Oh come on.........it's there to be used.

Think of it as just another thread......

 

[Keegan]

What is black, white, red and corny?

This thread.

 

[newbie original]

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."

---------------

-Watch out for the vacuum cleaner!
-What vacuuuuuuuuuuu.......

-----------------

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....
A: A stick

-----------

Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a driveway!

----------------

Did you hear about the two ants on the toilet seat? One of them got pissed off.

------------------

Did you hear the one about the two peanuts that got on the bus?

One of them was assaulted.

--------------------

Q: What kind of pants do the mario bros wear?
A: Denim, denim, denim.

------------------

Q: What is blue and white and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?
A: A fridge wearing a denim Carlos*et

---------------------------------------

Q: What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Q: Dam!

----------------------------

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Shaw.
Shaw who?
Shawpping for a rat? I know a guy who just loves them.

 

[AlienSeafood]

i hate u

 

[Theodorakis]

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."

well some guy walked into my pharmacy and asked "-A small piece of wood has sticked into my duck's throat.. what shall I do?"

apperantly he used that duck as a decoy..

 

[Alejandrix]

What a Thread!!!!

 

[prockoop]

What is it?
Its green and its laying in foss.


...
Rotten Pikatchu

 

[cmc211]

Rotten Pikatchu

Isn't it this?

 

[prockoop]

 

[newbie original]

Q: Why did the solider salute the refrigerator?
A: It was a 'General Electric' refrigerator!

-----------------------------

Q: What do you do to a drowning moth?
A: Moth to moth resuscitation!

-----------------------------------

Q: Why was Cinderella such a lousy player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin!

----------------------------------

Q: What is orange and goes up and down?
A: An orange in an elevator!

-------------------------------------------

Q: A Child went to his aunt's house. He wanted to show her his stomach. What did he say to her?
A: A(U)NTI-CI-PATE.

-----------------------------------------------

2 muffins are in an oven 1 says to the other "it's hot in here isn't it?" the 2nd muffin replies "Sh*t!!! A talking muffin!!!"

----------------------------------

Q: Why did dinosaurs not study history?
A: Because they were pre-historic.

---------------------------------------------

 

[Alejandrix]

Where do you find this sh*t dude!!!! is just ridiculous!!! don´t tell me you are making up some of those jokes