You know you're [YOUR NATIONALITY HERE] when...

[Run DMB]

OK, so here's the idea. List stereotypes about your nationality/ethnic background that you find to be accurate and/or amusing.

I'll start off, but since I'm too lazy to come up with my own material, I'll just cut-and-paste some items from an email I received today.

You know you're Bulgarian when...

1. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American.
2. At your wedding you know only about a third of the guests.
4. Your father calls you an idiot for not knowing how to do something he can't do either.
6. There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and cabbage in your garage.
10. Your baba (grandma) and diado (grandpa) live in your basement.
17. You don't want to have or do any business with Bulgarians.
21. You have a Bulgarian cross, flag, or icon, hanging from your rear view mirror.
31. When you can hear your parents talking and you are across the street.
33. Everyone is sure you're Greek or Italian.
34. No one has ever pronounced your name right, and every kid on the block has a different nickname for it.
38. When you're hungry and you go and buy a pack of smokes.
40. When you have a chicken running in your back yard.
43. You always have the latest mobile phone on the market.
44. You can spend 3 hrs in a Cafe drinking the same cup of coffee.
52. When you think chalga (Balkan pop-folk) is good music.
55. When people still think that you are from Bolivia no matter how many times you say you're from Bulgaria.
59. You've run away from Bulgaria and still say it's the best place to live.

Remember this is about your nationality/ethnicity, not other people's. No Turk-bashing, unless it's done by Turks.

 

[yoyo913]

1. Born in Philly
2. Playing BBall outside of school
3. Got in one little fight, mom got scared
4. Moved with auntie and uncle in Bel-Air
5. ...
6. ...
7. ... Read a sh!t thread

 

[O-car]

You know you're Icelandic when...

1. You can legally tap a 14 year old's ass
2. you can marry your cousin
3. People think you live in an igloo
4. People think you're Irish
5. People ask what you're native language is, and ask if you're fluent in it
6. You can drink like a tank
7. People are envious that you can handle the cold
8. hot girls find you interesting and attractive
9. You get asked if you're from Reykjavik
10. You get charged half your paycheck for a drink at the bar

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I would think that in Iceland it's either igloo or Reykjavik. There's nothing else.

 

[Jaboldinho]

You know you're Finnish when:

1.In summer you go to the middle of a forrest, you get eaten by mosquitos, you try to fry your sausage on a bonfire in the rain and you enjoy the whole f*cking thing!
2. People think you live with polar bears.
3. You're an alcoholist.
4. You have a sauna.
5. In a sauna 70 celsius is damn cold and outside 20 celsius is ******* hot.
6. You have a president who looks like Conan O'Brien.
7. You listen to heavy metal and nothing else.
8. You eat mushrooms.
9. You hate swedes.
10. You drink 10 cups coffee a day.

 

[easyeasyeasy]

You know you're Welsh when...

1) You prefer to shag sheep than someone of the opposite sex (really need the Dragan smiley for this but it don't work!!!!)
2) Your ancestors worked in the mines all those years ago
3) You call all of your male friends "boyo"
4) You call your grandparents "nain" and "taid" even when speaking English to them
5) You can accurately say the name of the village "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwll llantysiliogogogoch" even if you can't speak Welsh fluently
6) You have a dislike of anything English and get seriously offended if anyone calls you English or thinks Wales is an English county (mostly Yanks ask that)
7) You get cross if an English person pronounces a place name beginning with "LL" as "L"
8) You have a Welsh flag or St. Davids cross flag somewhere in your house
9) You wear a daffodil or leek on March 1st
10) You've watched the film Twin Town
11) People ask you if you like Tom Jones
12) You like rugby (only really applies to the south)
13) You've spent time in a caravan (especially Swansea people)
14) You say stuff like "isnit boy bach"
15) You pay nothing for prescriptions because the Assembly made them free (hence we got a lot of 16 year old smackheads about)

 

[Dipanjan]

I'm just copy pasting stuff as I am known for.

You know you are India when:
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts , Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam,
Kamini & Shamini.)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their
real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the
remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they
won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used , as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic
utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel
means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. ( And they prefer
it that way).

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or
receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose
daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity
of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've
eaten, even if it's midnight .

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty."

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you
discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have
improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their
lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting
dirty.

33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. When you have Taco Bell sauce stocked up in your glove compartment or pantry, or any other place where you can store sauce.

38.Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.

39.Your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor.

40.Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.

41.You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.

42.You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
everyone thinks you're "Indian" no matter what part of South Asia your ancestors were from.

43.You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.

44.You've had to sit through videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."

45.You drive mostly Japanese cars.
you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.

46.You know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happens

47.You've never gotten little red envelopes around February.
piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.

48.You're father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages

49.Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses

50.Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In India (or other native country), we studied even more."

51.Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
an Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"

52.Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both

53.Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
everyone thinks you're good at math.

54.You like $1.75 movies
55.You like $1.50 movies even more.

56.Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing From Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.

57.Your parents insist you marry within your race.
you either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it

58.Your parents have never kissed you
you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents

59."You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"

60.You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."

61.You have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and your father's side

62.At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.

63.Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.

64.You will most likely be taller than your parents.

65.Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.

66.You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't
when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.

67.Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.

68.Your family owns a tennis racquet.

69.Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chang)
the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.

70.You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.

71.You own a rice cooker or two

72.You buy corn oil by the gallon.

73.Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

74.Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going

75.Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."

76.You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.

77.You think Cricket is played by everyone in the world and is the Best Game the British invented.

:Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o: :Carlos*o:

78.You also like to put a lot of smilies in your post coz it is is free.

100.You don't know to make things small(ex.Hindi Movies{all of them 3 hours long}).

 

[::shinji::]

You know you're Portuguese-Canadian when:

1. You actually think you look cool driving around in your tricked-out 1997 Honda Civic pumping sh!tty techno/house music.
2. You consider working insane overtime hours doing an ultra-monotonous factory job to be a "good gig".
3. You think most dark-skinned people are lazy.
4. Salt cod is a delicacy.
5. You think home-made wine actually tastes good.
6. If you go to a restaurant, you'll strictly only go to Portuguese restaurants and eat the exact same stuff you make at home.
7. There's a picture of the Virgin Mary somewhere in your house.
8. Chances are there's a Benfica, Porto, or Sporting, pendant hanging from your rear view mirror.
9. You'll hear stuff like "Oh you're Portuguese.. So can you speak Spanish?"
10. You are generally unable to speak without using lots of profanity.

 

[leungtl]

I'm Persian, Armenian, Russian, Bulgarian.

You know you're Persian, Armenian, Russian, Bulgarian when you're a burly womanizer with a seven inch dick with the width of two thumbs and the sexiest pair of purple silk boxers the world has ever seen

Do you like... get off on yourself or something?

 

[Zlatan]

You know you're Dutch when:

1. You adore cheese
2. You adore marijuana
3. You go to the hookers every day
4. You walk on 'klompen'
5. You sell roses
6. You want to sell as much as you can
7. You're greedy
8. You like to skate on ice
9. You eat boerenkool
10. Your house is a mill

You know you're an Amsterdammer when:

1. You adore marijuana
2. You go to the hookers every day
3. You love jews
4. You love Ajax
5. You're in the F-Side or Vak 410
6. You live at the canals
7. You don't know the diffrence in pronounciation between 'z' and 's'
8. You feel way better than the rest of the people in your country and/or in the world
9. You ride on a bike, ignoring all standard traffic rules
10. You've got 'gogme'

 

[Sir Calumn]

Some I nicked: (they're actually pretty funny)

You know you're British when...

You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday is also entirely reasonable.

After a big night out you find yourself looking for a curry house.

Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

You're always half an hour late to work and no one notices or even cares.

You can actually give directions to tourists on Oxford Street!

You step over a drunk on the underground rather than offering to help them.

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the weather is like. You know it is grey and overcast.

You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.

You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes and moisturize daily.

You collapse with laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).

You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

You only realise you have lost your sun glasses when you remember you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.

You like English cooking. After all, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year.

You buy disposable baby BBQs from Tesco.

A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

You always call soccer "football" and you support a team that's not Manchester United.

You don't think twice about buying a sandwich wrapped in cellophane.

A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear.

You've accepted queuing as a way of life. In fact you're proud of how good you are at it.

And some additions of my own:

You get angry when people use metric measurements for milk, or imperial measurements for juice.

You invent a sport, teach it to other countries and then watch them beat you at it.

You can waltz through any passport control whilst watching everyone else queue for hours.

You feel the necessity to give your waiter a detailed summary of your opinions of the food.

If you go to a restaurant/bar/club twice and see the same person working there both times you almost die of shock, then act like they're a close personal friend.

You think everybody else drives on the wrong side of the road, and tell them so.

 

[Kibe Kru]

Ok, since everyone is copy/pasting, I'll do it too.

You know you're Brazilian when:

You like Guarana better than Coke.

If someone tells you to be at a certain place at 1:00 pm, you don't show up until 2:30 or 3:00 pm.

Your entire family goes to grandma's house on Sundays for a big family get together ... even when you guys see each other everyday.

BBQ means steak, sausage, chicken wings, rice, farofa, molho e cerveja.

You are the loudest person in the room.

You live abroad and when you travel to Brazil instead of taking a suitcase with all your stuff, you take gifts for the entire family, the dog, the neighbor, not to mention the old/used clothes that you take just in case someone needs it.

An ideal woman is a woman with small breasts and a big butt.

You understand and speak Spanish, but when you say a word in Portuguese no one understands you.

Your jokes are always about Portuguese people.

You take football too seriously.

You go to a birthday party, and you can't leave until you take that piece of cake home. (haha!)

You know what capoeira is, you know a lot about samba and pagode.

You've studied the history of almost every country. (but can't remember anything about any of them)

You eat rice and beans at least 7 days a week.

Your breakfast consists of milk and coffee, bread with butter, and a piece of cake. (Cake is optional. The rest is not.)

Everyone thinks you're everything but Brazilian.

Some of my own now:
All your friends/colleagues complain about being out of money, yet spend a good amount that same night in a bar/club

Your catholic friends all believe in reincarnation.

No matter who you support, if you don't support Corinthians, you hate them.

You think the "small" bikinis everywhere else would be classes as enormous in Brazil.

 

[Back Door Skip]

You know you're Mexican-American when:

1. Your grandparents don't speak a word of English.
2. You speak to your parents mostly in Spanish even though they know English.
3. You eat a lot of spicy food.
4. Your mom is a great cook.
5. You're Catholic, and any other religion is 'crazy'.
6. You worship the Virgin Mary more than Jesus.
7. People think 'your' people are hardworking and determined, then you go and mess that stereotype by being a lazy bastard.
8. You refer to white people as gringos or gabachos.
9. You always have a successful uncle, a bum uncle, and many other uncles your likely to never meet.
10. You used to like cartoons like Speedy Gonzalez only to realize they're blatantly racist.
11. You laugh at the Central American people, because they get pissed off when they're also called Mexican.
12. You laugh at people who actually think 'beaner' is a hurtful racial slur.
13. You have at least one relative that lives illegally in this country.
14. You deeply support the Mexican NT and are okay with them underachieving. And you say, 'well, there's always next time.'
15. You think almost everything you eat can go well with tortillas.

 

[Nettles]

Brazilian one ^ nice. i love stereotypes and copyin sh it from facebook

You Know Yer Swedish When...

35. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but Ahlgrens Bilar (ahlgrens bilar are those little candy cars sorta like gummi bears).
36. You can debate for hours the difference between the taste of the pink, the green and the white car in a pack of Ahlgrens bilar.
37. You actually have a favourite colour of Ahlgrens bilar, and is pretty militant in your opinion on this point.

86. You refer to some internationally famous Swedes by their nicknames, even when speaking to bewildered non-Swedes who have no clue what you are talking about.(I.e: "Svennis" (Sven-Goran Ericsson) and "Henke" (Henrik Larsson).
86. You cried when Henke Larsson cut his hair.

5. You really want to attend the Nobel Prize Dinner.
7. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
8. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state "it's much better in Sweden" when you are abroad.
9. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
10. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.
11. You claim that you are not a royalist but actually do care what "she" will wear on the Nobel Prize dinner.
12. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
13. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that "why don't you do it like we do it in Sweden?"
14. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
15. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't.
16. You grew up in a house looking exactly like as if iit would have been in the IKEA-catalogue.
17. You have a tendency to not divide words when you write in English, since "särskrivning" is a sin.
18. You don't really care about winning as long as the Swedish beat the Norwegains and the Finish, no matter what the game/contest is.
19. You know that Sweden never actually will win the World Cup in Football, but keep partying anyway.
20. When you don't really consider silence a problem in social situations.
21. When you find people from other cultures generally being rather loud. With the exception of the Finish.
22. You wouldn't even consider buying electrical items unless they are "S"-marked.
23. You consider the question "how are you?" as a question that when posed, needs to be answered with a honest and thorough explanation of your mental health.
24. You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
25. You get guilty conciense from throwing things in the dustbin that could have been recycled.
26. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don't get why non-Swedes find that funny.
28. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forrest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
29. You use metric system and really don't get why there are people out there who don't.
30. You consider the band "kent" being their own proper music genre.
31. You consider a fast and audioable intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
40. It annoys the hell out of you that there is no good translation for the word "lagom" in any language (except in Turkish, apparently)
44. You think that Sweden winning a gold in any type of World Championships require celebrating by getting really drunk and splash around in a large and famous fountain.
45 You have a tendency to make Swedish verbs out of English nouns, and do not consider it slang or gramatically incorrect.
46. Generally, you prefer writing in pencil.
47. You've never seen a starbucks.
48. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why no one wants to visit.
49. Making fun of Norway is a national institution. And vise versa.
51. You are obsessed with health issues. Everything is bad unless it comes from sweden, in which case its ok.
52. You could survive on just fish and prawns, and still manage to have a different dish for every meal for a month. Oh, and you even put it in cake.
53. You find it normal to have to go to a special store that is owned by the government, that's only open during daytime to buy a bottle of wine, or other alcoholic beverages.
54. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neoghbours in the stairwell.
55. You split the check by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
57. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first 24 days of December in order to watch 15 minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
58. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
60. You think you understand Danish.
61. The Danish think you understand Danish.
62. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don't really understand Danish.
63. You thought wall to wall carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/Denmark. Then you went abroad and realised that you were wrong.
64. You don't even realise that you speak/write Swenglish whenever you speak/write to Swedish people.
66. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forrest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansratten?"
67. You expect people to be drinking atleast a bottle each of vodka, and think that's normal.
68. Your ideal breakfast consists of a slice of bread with egg och kalles kaviar, och a big cup of oboy...
69. You drink black espresso without sugar, believing that is what you do in Italy, and actually believe that you like it...
70. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the subway, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
71. You find non-scandinavians so loud and noisy but find it perfectly normal to get completely wasted, "bröla", sing along to "när vi gräver guld i usa..." and piss in public, when you're abroad and partying with non-scandinavians.
72. You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
80. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
81. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th (Valborg) and December 13th (Lucia).
84. You actually understand the rules of curling.
85. You have been accused of being from Switzerland. Repeatedly.


im too lazy to copy paste the other hundred and ....er something. yah swedes are bad at math too.

 

[rony31]

You know you're an Assyrian-Canadian when:

1. You hate Jews.
2. You hate Muslims.
3. You hate Pakis, Indians, Sri Lankans, and all other forms of what we call "brownies".
4. You hate Jews.
5. You hate Assyrians and love gossiping about them.
6. Your parents are extremely religious and believe eating meat on a Friday is sinful.
7. You hate Muslims.

 

[Run DMB]

"You said 'hate Muslims' twice."
"I like hating Muslims."

 

[King]

I don't know world map.

I am an Americano.



I smell like curry.
Everyone thinks that I am some terrorist muslim.
Old retarded white people think they won't allow me to board an airplane because they can't figure out difference between Arabs and Indians.

I am an Indian.

 

[rony31]

King: you forgot ""has 10 song or daughters that play cricket or ride their bikes in the hallways of apartment buildings and annoy the **** out of the other residents"

man, this thread makes me realize how much of a filthy racist bigot I really am. but I don't think it counts when you're even prejudiced against your own race... right?

 

[Ubik Valis]

Brazilian one ^ nice. i love stereotypes and copyin sh it from facebook

You Know Yer Swedish When...

35. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but Ahlgrens Bilar (ahlgrens bilar are those little candy cars sorta like gummi bears).
36. You can debate for hours the difference between the taste of the pink, the green and the white car in a pack of Ahlgrens bilar.
37. You actually have a favourite colour of Ahlgrens bilar, and is pretty militant in your opinion on this point.

86. You refer to some internationally famous Swedes by their nicknames, even when speaking to bewildered non-Swedes who have no clue what you are talking about.(I.e: "Svennis" (Sven-Goran Ericsson) and "Henke" (Henrik Larsson).
86. You cried when Henke Larsson cut his hair.

5. You really want to attend the Nobel Prize Dinner.
7. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
8. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state "it's much better in Sweden" when you are abroad.
9. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
10. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.
11. You claim that you are not a royalist but actually do care what "she" will wear on the Nobel Prize dinner.
12. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
13. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that "why don't you do it like we do it in Sweden?"
14. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
15. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't.
16. You grew up in a house looking exactly like as if iit would have been in the IKEA-catalogue.
17. You have a tendency to not divide words when you write in English, since "särskrivning" is a sin.
18. You don't really care about winning as long as the Swedish beat the Norwegains and the Finish, no matter what the game/contest is.
19. You know that Sweden never actually will win the World Cup in Football, but keep partying anyway.
20. When you don't really consider silence a problem in social situations.
21. When you find people from other cultures generally being rather loud. With the exception of the Finish.
22. You wouldn't even consider buying electrical items unless they are "S"-marked.
23. You consider the question "how are you?" as a question that when posed, needs to be answered with a honest and thorough explanation of your mental health.
24. You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
25. You get guilty conciense from throwing things in the dustbin that could have been recycled.
26. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don't get why non-Swedes find that funny.
28. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forrest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
29. You use metric system and really don't get why there are people out there who don't.
30. You consider the band "kent" being their own proper music genre.
31. You consider a fast and audioable intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
40. It annoys the hell out of you that there is no good translation for the word "lagom" in any language (except in Turkish, apparently)
44. You think that Sweden winning a gold in any type of World Championships require celebrating by getting really drunk and splash around in a large and famous fountain.
45 You have a tendency to make Swedish verbs out of English nouns, and do not consider it slang or gramatically incorrect.
46. Generally, you prefer writing in pencil.
47. You've never seen a starbucks.
48. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why no one wants to visit.
49. Making fun of Norway is a national institution. And vise versa.
51. You are obsessed with health issues. Everything is bad unless it comes from sweden, in which case its ok.
52. You could survive on just fish and prawns, and still manage to have a different dish for every meal for a month. Oh, and you even put it in cake.
53. You find it normal to have to go to a special store that is owned by the government, that's only open during daytime to buy a bottle of wine, or other alcoholic beverages.
54. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neoghbours in the stairwell.
55. You split the check by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
57. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first 24 days of December in order to watch 15 minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
58. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
60. You think you understand Danish.
61. The Danish think you understand Danish.
62. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don't really understand Danish.
63. You thought wall to wall carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/Denmark. Then you went abroad and realised that you were wrong.
64. You don't even realise that you speak/write Swenglish whenever you speak/write to Swedish people.
66. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forrest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansratten?"
67. You expect people to be drinking atleast a bottle each of vodka, and think that's normal.
68. Your ideal breakfast consists of a slice of bread with egg och kalles kaviar, och a big cup of oboy...
69. You drink black espresso without sugar, believing that is what you do in Italy, and actually believe that you like it...
70. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the subway, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
71. You find non-scandinavians so loud and noisy but find it perfectly normal to get completely wasted, "bröla", sing along to "när vi gräver guld i usa..." and piss in public, when you're abroad and partying with non-scandinavians.
72. You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
80. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
81. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th (Valborg) and December 13th (Lucia).
84. You actually understand the rules of curling.
85. You have been accused of being from Switzerland. Repeatedly.


im too lazy to copy paste the other hundred and ....er something. yah swedes are bad at math too.

you forgot:

86. If you are in a band playing live in Denmark, you'll feel the urge to talk to the audience in Swedish, as if anyone understands your annoying, alcohol-induced language.

 

[Bobby]

Dragan your country is a cumsplash...