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You know you're [YOUR NATIONALITY HERE] when...

$teauA

Superstar
You grew up on liver sandwiches…. and thought that was normal.

You make your own noodles.

You had to share a room until you were 21.

Everything you eat is savored in garlic and onions.

You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.

You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.

All your children have nick names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

You know someone with 20 kids (..like 12)

You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house. hahaha so true

You can fit 10 people into a Dacia. (3 people + 3 computers - thats desktop computers, not laptops, + like.. 500 pounds of luggage on a 3 hour journey.)

Your parents never throw anything away and if you by some chance manage to get something to make it to the garbage can… it mysteriously appears back where it was again.

You have lace curtains.

You have lace tablecloths.

You have rugs covering every inch of your house.

You have or had rugs on your walls.

Your mom tells you you’re too skinny even though your 30 pounds overweight.

You ever heard of ’stomach stew’.


loool :D

Girls cant have boyfriends when they are 17 but they have to be married at 18.

You have curtains hanging across every doorway.

Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think but they won’t let you do certain things because of what other ‘frati’ and ’surori’ will think.

Your mom is a doctor and force feeds you medicine for anything ranging from a headache, stomach ache to a stubbed toe.

Your house is full of Romanian medicine that is probably illegal here.

You and your friends have ever been kicked out of a restaurant or recreational park for being too loud or rowdy.

Your mom recycles plastic cups and paper plates, and sandwich bags by washing them.

You dont know how to use a dishwasher.

You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage. (H)(Y)

Your dad ever butchered a pig or lamb. (H)(Y)

You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (Got free with some household items).

Going to the movies is a sin.

Your parents call you farm animals when you get them mad.

Your mom ever chased you with a rolling pin or a broom telling you to stop so that she could hit you.

Your dad ever told you to smack yourself over the mouth for being disrespectful.


You’re twenty years old and your parents are trying to send you to Romoville to get you married cause your old.

Getting married at 18 is normal.

Getting married at 16 actually happens.

Your mom washes your clothing at 40.

A new tax being passed by the government is simply a cover up because the end of the world is really coming.

Asking if you can get a discount at a discount store on clearance items is normal and not embarrassing for your parents.

You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.


You feel like you’ve gotten a good deal if you didn’t pay tax.

You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.

When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.

Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting dirty.

It’s “normal” if your wedding has 600 people.

You dont know half the people at your wedding cuz your parents invited them.

You’ve seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.

You have mastered the art of bargaining in grocery shopping.

You walk out of the grocery store with no less then two packed shopping carts weekly.

----

I just googled those, the bold one's are sooo true.
 

King

My ass smells like your mom
rony31;2451759 said:
King: you forgot ""has 10 song or daughters that play cricket or ride their bikes in the hallways of apartment buildings and annoy the **** out of the other residents"

man, this thread makes me realize how much of a filthy racist bigot I really am. but I don't think it counts when you're even prejudiced against your own race... right? :p

Hahaha!!!! (H) They do that in your building?!!!! (H) Man, me and my friends use to do that in India. It was so fun!!! Looks like you live in a little India! (H)
 

$teauA

Superstar
King;2451830 said:
Hahaha!!!! (H) They do that in your building?!!!! (H) Man, me and my friends use to do that in India. It was so fun!!! Looks like you live in a little India! (H)

Yeah, it's called Toronto.
 

Siawash

Senior Squad
You know you're Afghan if:

-Your parents drink tea every hour of the day.
-You don't tell about you're girlfriend till it 2 years into your relationship
-You eat Basmati rice almost everyday.
-Your mother treats you like a kid, even in front of your friends.
-We think we're rich but in realization were not.
-You refer to your dad's friends as uncle! (H):D
-You order hot tea at Chili's.
-You have a Persian rug in every room.
-You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs.
-When having lunch with strangers make sure its 100% HALLAL FOOD
-your grandmother insists you eat something every time you visit her.
-Your parents say you're becoming westernized anytime you get into trouble.
-You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life. (H) always
-You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi (H)
-You have sudden and strange cravings for "palaw"
-You take Afghan food to school or work to eat, even if it is cold rice
-After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and talking about politics, waiting for their tea. (H)!
-Your parents want you to become a doctor or an engineer.
-Your dad was some sort of engineer or doctor back in Afghanistan.-true :D
-You get called a terrorist by white parents when asked what country you're from.
 
::shinji::;2451570 said:
You know you're Portuguese-Canadian when:

1. You actually think you look cool driving around in your tricked-out 1997 Honda Civic pumping sh!tty techno/house music.



See, that's how I know I'm not Portugese-Canadian. I know (H)
 

RobbieD_PL

Unreliable deceiver
Staff member
Moderator
Nettles said:
7. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
14. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
15. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't.
16. You grew up in a house looking exactly like as if it would have been in the IKEA-catalogue.
72. You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.

(H)(Y)

And its Finnish. You guys can't even find the time to spell your hated rivals correctly.

Oi maamme, Suomi, synnyinmaa,
soi, sana kultainen!

:p

Also, on the point of randomly speaking to eachother in your own languages, wasn't there a movement for unifying Norge, Sverige and Danmark ages and ages ago? :confused:
 

King

My ass smells like your mom
$teauA;2451861 said:
Yeah, it's called Toronto.
(H)
Damien Duff;2451879 said:
You know you're Afghan if:

-Your parents drink tea every hour of the day.
-You don't tell about you're girlfriend till it 2 years into your relationship
-You eat Basmati rice almost everyday.
-Your mother treats you like a kid, even in front of your friends.
-We think we're rich but in realization were not.
-You refer to your dad's friends as uncle! (H):D
-You order hot tea at Chili's.
-You have a Persian rug in every room.
-You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs.
-When having lunch with strangers make sure its 100% HALLAL FOOD
-your grandmother insists you eat something every time you visit her.
-Your parents say you're becoming westernized anytime you get into trouble.
-You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life. (H) always
-You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi (H)
-You have sudden and strange cravings for "palaw"
-You take Afghan food to school or work to eat, even if it is cold rice
-After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and talking about politics, waiting for their tea. (H)!
-Your parents want you to become a doctor or an engineer.
-Your dad was some sort of engineer or doctor back in Afghanistan.-true :D
-You get called a terrorist by white parents when asked what country you're from.
Haha! (H)
Those are the things that makes you qualify for the DESI group. (H)
Say Hi to Vaginastat.........I mean Arash. (H)
 

Nettles

Youth Team
RobbieD_PL;2451928 said:
(H)(Y)

Also, on the point of randomly speaking to eachother in your own languages, wasn't there a movement for unifying Norge, Sverige and Danmark ages and ages ago? :confused:

hehe, I dun live there now but yah, the movement is called English. stupid fins like to sound Russian though and Icelanders.... not worth it.
 

Jaboldinho

Fan Favourite
Excuse me, but we sound nowhere near Russian. Actually, the languages related to Finnish are Hungarian and Estonian. They actually have many word in Estonian that are used in Finnish too. Sadly they mean always something totally different. A Few examples:

Maasika: In Estonian it means Strawberry, in Finnish Earthpig.
Viineri: In Estonian it's Sausage, in Finnish a kind of bakery product. That has actually been found out by going to a Coffee house in Estonia and ordering a "viineri". (H)
 

VanTheMin

Red Card - Life
Life Ban
DIpanjan has every point correct...lol
but I'd sum it up as..

YOU KNOW YOUR INDIAN WHEN....

someone in the middle of the road shouts "hey you mthfckin SOB!"...and your the first one to respond
 
S

Sir Calumn

Guest
VanTheMan;2451999 said:
DIpanjan has every point correct...lol
but I'd sum it up as..

YOU KNOW YOUR INDIAN WHEN....

someone in the middle of the road shouts "hey you mthfckin SOB!"...and your the first one to respond
You know you're Britsh when you're the last one to respond.
 

goal_machine84

Senior Squad
Good list by dipanjan (H)...has everything covered :(

You know you are Indian when

- You dont require a calculator to know what 25% off on 200$ means
- You have ear hair as your 21st Birthday present
- Other people think you are good with computers even if you say you are a retarded eunuch
- You know the value of pi till the 20th accurate decimal digit
 

Mandieta6

Red Card - Life
Life Ban
You know you're israeli/jewish when:
-You don't have to ask for money to leave the house, it's in your pocket.
-You constantly hear hissing.
-Everyone owes you money.
-People ask you to write their names in hebrew, and are surprised it's written from right to left, even though it's the 5th time you've done it.
-Your facial hairs look like pubes.
-As does your hair.
-You have white hairs.
-Everyone thinks you're arab, even arabs.
 

Nettles

Youth Team
k numpties, this is the other half o me:

You're Scottish when...

-You can pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufur***sake.
-Alcoholism is a natural acceptance for sporting dissapointment
-You love deep fried battered pizza from the chip shop and dun forget the fried Mars bars.
-You don't actually know what haggis is made from yet you still eat it.
-Burns was a poetic God, Woomble IS a poetic God
-You've seen the emotional attachment between two skeemies when they gave each other a Glasgow kiss
-You're used to havin the four seasons in the same day.
-You cant pass a chip/kebab shop without saliva dripping from your mouth while secretly being jealous of English currie/packaged food culture
-You've perfected the art of appearing to be sober when drunk making your British counterparts look like alcoholics
-You consider people that wear shell suits with burberry accessories to be smart
-You're idea of a proper sentence consists o more swear words than real words
-Somebody you know has used the rugby/football schedule to plan their wedding date.
-You've been to weddings where the football scores were announced at the chapel
-Skirts & no nickers = ease of access
-You not surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish/chips, iron bru, cigarettes and nappies all at your local Asian shop
-You're 'oliday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
-You know Iron Bru is a hangover cure
-You get to support two football teams (Scotland and whoever England's playing).
-You measure distance in minutes.
-Sean Connery was the only good James Bond
-You get to look forward to winnin the Grand Slam sometime in the next millenium
-You know what the gardener really means when he says 'Hi, I'm goin ter the garden shed to do me jobby'
-You learned to swear before you learned to do sums.
-Produce great music: Travis, Travis, Annie Lennox, Travis, Biffy Cyro, Idlewild, Travis, Part o Snow Patrol, Franz Ferdinand, Travis, KT Tuntall/A Macdonald, Travis, Belle & Sebastien, and Travis.
-You plan to sit on a Caledonian mountain and laugh at the English when Global Warming floods them
-You know the real answer to 'Why Does It Always Rain One Me?' It's cos yer a Scot ya numpty
-You will die of heart disease at 40.
-You have a cool national anthem, which no one knows the words of.
-You can understand Rab C. Nesbit and know characters like him in your family.
 

Siawash

Senior Squad
Some more:

Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.

You hide everything from your parents.

Your mother does everything for you if you are male.

Everyone is a family friend.

You know no one who has studied music at Uni, its all natural talents.

Your mother or aunty or someone close to you got married at the age of 16.

You have to have meat with everything, otherwise it’s not food.

Your dad loves garlic on everything.

You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.

You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.

You secure your baggage with a rope.

You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.

You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of...the royal family.


The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking...about them.

Your dad and his friends buy cars every 6 months and then sell them to get another one.

No one seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.

(For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home by 6pm.

Your parents hate the Russians and Jews

You have annoying nicknames to make it easier for your foreigner friends.

Your parents call all your friends "Bachem" whether they are afghan or not.

People you call "Kaka Jan" always smell up the bathroom at parties.

If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start ringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late.

You have never met half of your extended family.

Your parents had eight daughters and hopes of having a son.

One or both of your parents skipped at least one year of elementary school.

A successful marriage is one where your parents and your husband's/wife's parents like and understand each other.

When you compare your friends to yourself, your parents say, "You aren't the same person as they are!"

At least once a week your mom says, “The good old days in Afghanistan."

Your parents were the richest most respected people “back home".

Older siblings always listen to your parents' conversations.

When you drive by other people's businesses, your parents always count the
number of cars in the parking lot.

Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.

Your parents always refuse to buy so called “luxury items" because of the poverty "back home"

Pre historic "Modern" Afghan Chicks refer to Kabul as "Kabul Jan"

Pre Historic "even more modern chicks" refer to Afghanistan as "Kabul Jan"

Your parents have their own unique names for everything

such as:

-Barbeque= Baarbaqoo

-Video=weedo

-steering= ishtring

-microwave= marcowave

-Blockbuster Video= Black Bastard Viseo

-loud speakers= laaspikar

-telephone= tilfoon

- franklins= FARAKLENS

-campbeltown= Kabul town

Food is not worthy of eating if it is not floating in two centimeters deep oil.

A wedding was either good or bad depending on the food and the food only.


If you don't cook 3 types of rice, 5 types of "qorma", on top of the main
meals, you will start panicking that you haven't cooked anything even though you have cooked 3 types of kebab, mantoo, aashak and 4 types of other usual "qormas".

If a lady you have never met before comes to your house regularly every day means they are going to come for your hand

10 people go together to the hospital to visit a patient.
 

Jambo Den

Fan Favourite
Nettles;2452286 said:
k numpties, this is the other half o me:

You're Scottish when...

-You can pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufur***sake.
-Alcoholism is a natural acceptance for sporting dissapointment
-You love deep fried battered pizza from the chip shop and dun forget the fried Mars bars.
-You don't actually know what haggis is made from yet you still eat it.
-Burns was a poetic God, Woomble IS a poetic God
-You've seen the emotional attachment between two skeemies when they gave each other a Glasgow kiss
-You're used to havin the four seasons in the same day.
-You cant pass a chip/kebab shop without saliva dripping from your mouth while secretly being jealous of English currie/packaged food culture
-You've perfected the art of appearing to be sober when drunk making your British counterparts look like alcoholics
-You consider people that wear shell suits with burberry accessories to be smart
-You're idea of a proper sentence consists o more swear words than real words
-Somebody you know has used the rugby/football schedule to plan their wedding date.
-You've been to weddings where the football scores were announced at the chapel
-Skirts & no nickers = ease of access
-You not surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish/chips, iron bru, cigarettes and nappies all at your local Asian shop
-You're 'oliday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
-You know Iron Bru is a hangover cure
-You get to support two football teams (Scotland and whoever England's playing).
-You measure distance in minutes.
-Sean Connery was the only good James Bond
-You get to look forward to winnin the Grand Slam sometime in the next millenium
-You know what the gardener really means when he says 'Hi, I'm goin ter the garden shed to do me jobby'
-You learned to swear before you learned to do sums.
-Produce great music: Travis, Travis, Annie Lennox, Travis, Biffy Cyro, Idlewild, Travis, Part o Snow Patrol, Franz Ferdinand, Travis, KT Tuntall/A Macdonald, Travis, Belle & Sebastien, and Travis.
-You plan to sit on a Caledonian mountain and laugh at the English when Global Warming floods them
-You know the real answer to 'Why Does It Always Rain One Me?' It's cos yer a Scot ya numpty
-You will die of heart disease at 40.
-You have a cool national anthem, which no one knows the words of.
-You can understand Rab C. Nesbit and know characters like him in your family.

Absolutely!
 
You know you're from Rochester, NY when...

1. "Waking up with the Wease" doesn't mean that you have a respiratory infection.
2. The thought of eating a "garbage plate" makes your mouth water.
3. The only thing at the annual May Lilac Festival is snow.
4. The worst four-letter word you could say is "Fuji".
5. You can't swim at the beach.
6. You thought that you had figured out that alternate-parking thing, but wind up with a ticket anyway.
7. Toronto is about 70 miles away, but it takes four hours to get there.
8. The name "Greater Rochester International Airport" is bigger than the airport itself.
9. There's an 800 number to report a pothole in the road.
10. You know that a "Can of Worms" is not something that you take fishing.
11. Your baby's first word is "Wegmans".
12. You ask lifetime residents where the George Eastman House is, but they don't know either.
13. In a city where it snows at least 90 inches a year, they build a new sports stadium with no roof on it.
14. It can be 70 degrees one day, below freezing the next, and you think nothing of it.
15. Your mother is buying outfits to wear to Wegmans.
16. Your low-fat diet is never low enough to exclude an Abbott's custard.
17. You order a white hot and a pop, and the counterman knows what you're talking about.
18. You can travel from Egypt to Greece in about a half-hour by car.
19. D&C is a newspaper, not a medical procedure.
20. There are no hamburgers, only ground steak.
21. You can go to any mall on a Saturday and see at least 5 people you either work with, went to school with or dated.
22. A musical comes to town 10 years after its Broadway premier and the entire town goes nuts! (e.g. Miss Saigon)
23. You awaken from a deep sleep, look at the clock and see that it's 6:00, but you have no idea whether it's AM or PM.
24. When 18+ inches of snow falls overnight, but you never thought of NOT going to work.
25. You are perplexed when friends from other cities come to visit and want to "see the sights".
26. A flagpole strung with white lights seems like an acceptable alternative to a municipal Christmas tree.
27. In winter if the temperature hits 45 degrees and the sun comes out, people walk around downtown wearing shades and no Carlos*ets.
28. There are places at the poles that seem to get more sunlight during the winter months than we do.
29. Wegmans is somewhere to go on a Friday night, for entertainment.
30. You know who Vinnie and Angelo are.
31. You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
32. You think that people from Pennsylvania have an accent.
33. Halloween is snowed out with great regularity.
34. You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
35. Your year has two seasons: Winter and Construction.
36. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.
 


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