Ever been THIS so close?

[Ubik Valis]

slot, box, mound, spam purse, meat curtains........axe wound !!!!!

 

[INFESTA]

I didn't know you were Shifty Savage!!

Is that good or bad? I don't know him at all.
Anyway, I always say sh!t like that when a friend asks for advice concerning women. That's why they never ask again.

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Luis: Funny, I've been with my gf for 7 years too! We've had a lot of on and off periods, though, and we're in an off zone right now (I always try not to cheat). I don't think we'll still be together in 2 years time.

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Aaron, I thought you liked older women.
I guess you're the teacher we used to hate back in the day, you know, the guy we knew was getting it on with our girls. But I reckon that's a great position to be in.

 

[Jambo Den]

Minge? What's that, some weird Scottish rag or something?

It's... ahh, never mind.

 

[AberdeenFC]

hey den check out the name on the far right 5 rows down!

 

[rhizome17]

Aaron, I thought you liked older women.

Now I am getting closer to thirty... there is a strange reversal going on. But at least i have learnt a heck of a lot from them... now it is time to put all that learning to good use

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Is that good or bad? I don't know him at all.
Anyway, I always say sh!t like that when a friend asks for advice concerning women. That's why they never ask again

He's a sex columnist, the column is called "Savage Love". It just seemed like something he would say.

 

[gagiz]

well me and my gf were at the movies one time and she starts unzipping my pants and starts giving me hand wen all of a sudden one of the security guards at the door starts walking towards us.i tell my gf and she lets go of my cock but my pants are still unzipped lol.It was kinda embarrassing.But alteast i got my money's worth out of the movie!.lol

 

[champdave]

well me and my gf were at the movies one time and she starts unzipping my pants and starts giving me hand wen all of a sudden one of the security guards at the door starts walking towards us.i tell my gf and she lets go of my cock but my pants are still unzipped lol.It was kinda embarrassing.But alteast i got my money's worth out of the movie!.lol

Thats exactly what I wanted to read whilst having my breakfast

 

[TheBlueBalla]

So how's the head..?

BING! haha

Well, the lesson I suppose I should try to get across here is that blue balls are a major part of life. Everyone strikes out and in addition to that everyone has instances where they think something great is going to happen and then the chick calls it all off. It's just a part of life as a man.

Some guys have "it", but alot of guys dont. I'd say its about half and half with all the dudes I know, and I definately dont have it. No matter what stage I manage to get the thing to, theres always something to screw it up for me (well in most cases, anyway), especially with girls I meet socially as opposed to friends. That's why all guys have to think with the hormonal head rather than the cerebral one in the heat of the moment or they too will know the frustration it took me several years and a half-dozen or so women to overcome...till I dated a freak

Also, my personal moral is dont think investiture of time will crack a prude. They have almost Soviet-like iron will to resisit actual direct contact with any sexual member, so that when your in the dark, tossing around in the sheets half naked and the inevitable seems only a moment or two away, she always slams on the breaks and blue balls invariably ensue, no matter how good your in with her.


Such is life

Edit: I hadnt seen anything other than page one when i posted, but this thread is entertaining stuff

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Actually, if you put in the time with a prude and they start to feel really comfortable and safe around you, they can be amazing in the sack..... or it can be like having sex with a couch, but then again even the sexiest woman alive apparantly is just as good as a couch (angelina)

 

[TheBlueBalla]

Actually, if you put in the time with a prude and they start to feel really comfortable and safe around you, they can be amazing in the sack..... or it can be like having sex with a couch, but then again even the sexiest woman alive apparantly is just as good as a couch (angelina)

If I had to guess, I would place my money on it being amazing most of the time, by virtue of all that pent up energy. The chick I was principally referencing is, at first glance, heavily sexual in her dress, jokes, actions, etc (she's a virgin and she writes a sexual advice column ). But shes also Catholic, albeit not a very good one and refuses to do it until shes married...and im definately not marrying this one

The times i got "close" with her though she was pretty wild, even for a prude. The thing that sticks out most vividly though is getting my hand shoved away when i started work on her brastrap. I need to get faster at that sh*t

And the Jawlee thing was a little shocking too. But eventhough I dislike that bitch, I still think Billy Bob Thornton is a knob, and thus, suspect with anything he says.