The TOTALLY Mature Sex Thread

[ShiftyPowers]

whats still on the list?

Middle Eastern and Asian.

 

[Mandieta6]

Middle Eastern and Asian.

Wanna hang?

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Wanna hang?

I'm thinking more Persian. The Chosen People have already been crossed off.

 

[simo_yes]

i think i've only got arab and negro to go. but if im going to split hairs, still havent had a pacific islander or an all-blonde swede. i got with an asian bitch in japan a couple of months ago, that was an experience. kept asking me to rape her and then cried when i couldn't come because i was too drunk

 

[Theodorakis]

persian is a very good choice..

and show me some proof to at least make me consider memorizing that indian words, please..

 

[rony31]

Both the chicks I've banged have German fathers and Canadian mothers. Some Indian chick from England gave me head at a cottage once, she was awful, never getting near one of those again.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

i think i've only got arab and negro to go. but if im going to split hairs, still havent had a pacific islander or an all-blonde swede. i got with an asian bitch in japan a couple of months ago, that was an experience. kept asking me to rape her and then cried when i couldn't come because i was too drunk

Hahahaha, good thing most women aren't like that, or else 80% of my conquests would have ended their Shifty experience in tears. Usually that doesn't happen until I refuse to answer texts and calls, or give them the cold shoulder in public.

I've been sorta liberal with a few of them. I crossed off black and latina with one girl who was 50/50, and my American Indian is pretty dubious.

Both the chicks I've banged have German fathers and Canadian mothers. Some Indian chick from England gave me head at a cottage once, she was awful, never getting near one of those again.

Don't think I've ever gotten on a German, although I was invited into a MMF threesome when I stayed with a family in Germany for 2 weeks when I was 17. A terrified ShiftyPowers hastily declined. Now... I'd probably think about it for the story. I do a lot of stupid **** for the story.

Come to think of it, all of mine have been American. When I get some real money I'm planning a trip to Eastern Europe though

 

[Theodorakis]

You dont need real money for a trip to eastern europe.. take ukraine for example; all women are good looking, some of them are spectacularly beautiful, and you can get yourself a magnificent night in a not-less-than-decent night club for less than 100 bucks.. and I'm being seriously generous there, you can take my word for that..

 

[ShiftyPowers]

You dont need real money for a trip to eastern europe.. take ukraine for example; all women are good looking, some of them are spectacularly beautiful, and you can get yourself a magnificent night in a not-less-than-decent night club for less than 100 bucks.. and I'm being seriously generous there, you can take my word for that..

Yeah, but I still need to get over there.

I'm thinking more like Czech Republic, Poland, and up to the Baltic states.

 

[simo_yes]

80% of my conquests would have ended their Shifty experience in tears

I do a lot of stupid **** for the story.

you are my long lost older brother.

I've been sorta liberal with a few of them. I crossed off black and latina with one girl who was 50/50, and my American Indian is pretty dubious

yeah needless to say this jap chicks crying and begging to be raped was a bit of a turnoff. and i hate to be the bearer of bad news but 50/50 doesnt count, its a bit of a technicality but i reckon you have to do a pure bred to get full marks.


the best i've ever had was a colombian beauty. those girls know how to serve their men. but i think my best achievement would be a russian girl who did not speak a single word of english. toiled away for 4 hours on an iphone translator with gleaming results

 

[ShiftyPowers]

and i hate to be the bearer of bad news but 50/50 doesnt count, its a bit of a technicality but i reckon you have to do a pure bred to get full marks.


the best i've ever had was a colombian beauty. those girls know how to serve their men. but i think my best achievement would be a russian girl who did not speak a single word of english. toiled away for 4 hours on an iphone translator with gleaming results

That's bull****, it totally counts. You're not the first person that has said that. 50% is good enough for 100% in law, and it's good enough for 100% in poon. The American Indian... that girl certainly wasn't close to 50%, but **** it, those people are rare.

The Russian accomplishment is really something; my best achievement is a stripper who did the porn star move where she's on top, but isn't sitting on your lap, so she's got her feet on the ground and her legs in sort of a butterfly formation so she's basically humping you. **** was hot. Very rare too, because I imagine it takes quite a bit of leg strength for the chick, and many women are lazy as **** in bed.

 

[Mandieta6]

I have this friend who has always been something of a Don Juan. He hooks up with hot chicks on a nearly daily basis, and so I've always taken his advice and stories relatively seriously. Today I was talking to a mutual friend and he told me that this guy hooked up with his best (female) friend and she said that not only was he hugely disappointing in bed, but that he was bad at pretty much everything he did: going down, making out, etc.

This got me thinking, not about how he manages to hook up with so many chicks because I can understand that, he's a handsome, confident guy. It's more about all of the things he's been swearing by as the ultimate guide to getting girls off. So, my question is, what things do you know work well? Be it when snogging, foreplay, going down, having sex or sodomizing goats.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

Don't trust anything a girl says, particularly about sex, and PARTICULARLY about a guy who pump and dumped her.

Yeah I mean, it depends on the girl. For some just rudimentary clit rubbing for a decent amount of time should to it, be it tongue, finger, whatever. For others, you just won't be able to do it no matter what you do. But to tell you the truth, the best bit of advice I've ever got about this topic is to not care about her orgasm at all. **** her long and hard, like it's your last one ever, but there's no need to pay special attention to her needs unless it's a long term girlfriend. And even then... Girls get off on "alphaness" and "dominance", not on submission by getting on your knees and lapping at her vag like a dog. They'll get off, but it's really not that important to do.

 

[simo_yes]

haha i think i'm a bit similar to that guy, wouldn't say all the girls are stunners but they pass, the way i see it is once my pants are down it doesn't really matter what i do, i'm still getting laid. don't usually put much effort into it at all. i have gotten with girls before purely on my reputation, they heard i'd been with a few and instantly assumed i must be a stallion in the sack, god they must have been disappointed.

although occasionally i'll perform, i have a signature move that works every single time in getting the girl off, its called the simo slide. basically its just missionary but instead of pumping in and out, go all the way in then slide your body towards her, gets a nice deep stimulation of the g-spot and rubs the clit with your pelvic bone at the same time, do that for a minute she is sure to scream.

another trick i like to do is to scream out your own name when you cum. just for a laugh... she wont be expecting it

as for sodomising goats, they love to be bitten on the ear

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I have a couple tips as well, the first one is for beginners (or the sober) who aren't comfortable walking into a room and ripping a girl's clothes off and nailing her so fast it might as well be in one motion. The second one is a tip every single guy needs to know.

1) Basically, if you aren't comfortable just ripping her pants off and sticking it in immediately, you can start with the move you always see in the Boyz II Men videos where you kiss down the stomach and then inner thigh and start eating her out, and then at some point you just take off your pants, come up to kiss her, and put it in.

2) I had to learn this one the hard way. Basically, if you aren't pushy (you should be!) girls can get really hesitant when their pants are off, but panties are on. I mean you'll try to take off their panties and they'll block every attempt like they're Iker Casillas. Nothing is getting in. The solution is to take off the panties at the same time you take off her jeans. I've only been thwarted while trying to do this move once, and it was on a first date (don't do many dates) by a 19 year old who had sex twice before, both times with virgins. Oh, and we worked together. She basically showed me how ridiculous girls can be about that iron curtain of panties if you aren't careful. Took me literally 16 hours in bed (included sleeping) WITH HER PANTSLESS to **** her. But yeah, just take the panties off with the pants.

I don't really do any tricks though. Normal routine is to start in missionary or girl on top and finish in doggie. My favorite position is the girl laying down flat and me hitting it from behind, but basically just because you get her to moan like you're in "spider monkey" doggie (RAISE UP!) without having to do all the effort. I reserve Spider Monkey for the extremely hot that I'm trying to impress; it often makes me sweat profusely if it's a hot day.

 

[$teauA]

I have a couple tips as well, the first one is for beginners (or the sober) who aren't comfortable walking into a room and ripping a girl's clothes off and nailing her so fast it might as well be in one motion. The second one is a tip every single guy needs to know.

1) Basically, if you aren't comfortable just ripping her pants off and sticking it in immediately, you can start with the move you always see in the Boyz II Men videos where you kiss down the stomach and then inner thigh and start eating her out, and then at some point you just take off your pants, come up to kiss her, and put it in.

2) I had to learn this one the hard way. Basically, if you aren't pushy (you should be!) girls can get really hesitant when their pants are off, but panties are on. I mean you'll try to take off their panties and they'll block every attempt like they're Iker Casillas. Nothing is getting in. The solution is to take off the panties at the same time you take off her jeans. I've only been thwarted while trying to do this move once, and it was on a first date (don't do many dates) by a 19 year old who had sex twice before, both times with virgins. Oh, and we worked together. She basically showed me how ridiculous girls can be about that iron curtain of panties if you aren't careful. Took me literally 16 hours in bed (included sleeping) WITH HER PANTSLESS to **** her. But yeah, just take the panties off with the pants.

I don't really do any tricks though. Normal routine is to start in missionary or girl on top and finish in doggie. My favorite position is the girl laying down flat and me hitting it from behind, but basically just because you get her to moan like you're in "spider monkey" doggie (RAISE UP!) without having to do all the effort. I reserve Spider Monkey for the extremely hot that I'm trying to impress; it often makes me sweat profusely if it's a hot day.

My favorite as well. Grabbing her by the upper thighs/hips and pulling her up slightly is a favorite move of mine (and hers) when in this position.

By the way I totally agree with you on the "chicks get off on alphaness and dominance" comment. That has held true 100% in my experiences. When I first became sexually active I was hesitant to be a little "rough" in bed but now I don't hesitate to grab the girl by the neck and applying slight pressure or pulling her head back and arching her back by holding her hair etc... Works like a f*cking charm.

 

[ShiftyPowers]

I ******* love this thread. I never get to talk about any of this stuff in real life and yet it occupies my mind almost constantly. I have the gift of not being able to picture the acts people are describing, but I'm told most people are not able to do that; as such most of my friends just don't want to know any details and it gets pushed from the convo. Also I have quite a few friends who are... if not 26 year old virgins, they are 26 year old near-virgins.

 

[VanTheMan]

I have a question..
If, whilst performing Cunnilingus on a super hot chic, and she would FART out loud right on your face in a 69 position..what would you do ?
HHAHHA ROFL


FAIL.

 

[simo_yes]

the thought of that is just inconceivable

 

[ShiftyPowers]

the thought of that is just inconceivable

+1

Maybe in India